+ + +Syahida+ + +

2011-09-26T21:18:00.000+08:00

It's tiring... having to keep running and running away from those scary moments that is haunting you. In the end, you'll still fall into that deep, dark hole that you're fearful about. The cycle keeps repeating itself. And there you go, wounded, leaving scars after scars. Traumatizing u, nightmares settling in the moment u close your eyes. How shall I put a stop to it? How can I put a stop to it? Yes, I may need someone to guide, stay and comfort me... But in the end, I'm still gonna be the only one going through it.

The future, it's hazy, dark, negative and scary to me. I'm really terrified facing everyday in life cause I know, I ain't strong. I don't know what I'm capable of doing. Ya Allah...

2011-08-16T00:55:00.001+08:00

Baby Marteen Busuk just like uncle fatty cheeks!!!!

2011-08-02T17:15:00.000+08:00

All our efforts just go down the drain. Each and every single one of us had adrenaline pumping in us and prepped ready for the performance. Thinking we could perform- winning or losing does not matter. Can't you just wait? Even the judges were'nt there yet. mofos.

It's never about winning cause I know, there are many strong contenders. It's about performing as a team. Instead, u pushed 3 of us in, asking us to perform regardless of the judge being M.I.A, regardless my 2 other team members have yet to show up. U make us feel humiliated walking up the stage. And then, the emcee goes blabbering on covering our song and there goes no chance for us at all. It seems like we've been forced to dance. It seems like we're some prostitutes there on the stage. I felt like crying there, on the stage and even though it's over now, it feels like a nightmare.

And YOUR STUPID reason, "There are VVIPs in there, we have got no time. Minimum is 2 person so even 2 person can go in and perform."

To hell with your reason. IT totally does not answer why we can't perform as a team. Well, it is a competition but afterall, it's a nurses' day and we're not performing in a live television show. Dude, I've lost respect for you even though you're a superior. Worst of all, u make us all cry on the 1st day of Ramadhan. God is fair, Karma will be on its way. Amin.

2011-07-23T02:51:00.000+08:00

this is, lil mak tiri... the naughty girl!

2011-07-03T02:35:00.000+08:00

Look!!! My bag is on its wayyyyyyy all the way from US to Korea!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!! Mr postman, hurry up!!!!! And I think my watch is making its way too!!!!!!!! Can't wait any longer. HURRY!!!!!

2011-06-28T00:30:00.000+08:00

All that I hope and all that I wish for, is to have a happy life- but my wish would not come true. I'm sorry to have been born in this world and I'm sorry if my existence in all of your lives causes pain and sadness. I'm worthless, hopeless and I'm a failure.

Maybe I shouldn't be at home often. Friends, they're far way better than a family. Friends understand us whilst family don't. All u can get from your family are accusations. Why? Why is it so hard for them to understand?

2011-06-24T19:19:00.000+08:00

I'm super duper excited!!!!! The big B..B..B.....BONUS is once again here and it's time to get what I want!!! YAY! My hard work pays off- It's time to INDULGE!
I have yet to make a list of what I wanna get... But then again, I have to save up too. That's the troublesome part.

Can't wait! -squeals-

And Luohan, I miss u!

2011-06-09T09:01:00.000+08:00

It sucks when someone confides in you or tell you something but u cannot do anything about it.
I know you are reading this, if it sounds like I am nagging, means I care alot, u dum dum. lol.

2011-06-01T21:42:00.000+08:00

I was browsing and came across this beautiful poem...

Cinta...

Bagai matahari yang terbit dari fajar ke ufuk timur...
Sinar cahayanya menyinari dedaunan hijau dan bunga yang berkuncup di atas puncak gunung mimpi.
Lalu, ia akan bermekaran, menebarkan merbak aroma wangi alam segar...
Kumbang pun akan berterbangan, menikmati madu yang menggoda.
Langit biru terbentang luas, dihiasi awan putih yang lembut.
Sang burung berkicauan merdu, menggepakkan sayap putihnya.

Sungguh indah permulaanya, tetapi belum tentu penghujungya...

2011-06-01T21:10:00.000+08:00

Dear Heart, tell me what you're looking for?

2011-02-03T21:07:00.000+08:00

Terra Incognizant

by Prometheus

You would think by now, I would know my way around,
I shouldn't miss you so badly, I should be on familiar ground.
How many more lonely years, must meander by,
until I learn the lesson, it does no good to cry.
What manner of iron will, must some people possess,
to be always looking forward, to never accept regress.
Perhaps if I was willing, to let someone take me by the hand,
they could show me a happy place, in this unfamiliar land.
Perhaps I'm only homesick, for all the joys that once were mine,
I must accept that they and you, belong to another place and time.
But I know that deep within my heart, there's a place where only you reside,
and when the pain of loneliness comes, it knows that is where I hide.
So if sometimes it seems to you, I'm clinging to the past,
it's mostly because I can't yet accept, that our love didn't last.
No matter how hard I try, I've yet to get over you,
for the part of me that's still alive, believes you love me too.
Maybe there will come a day, when that part will finally die,
and feeling strong with a heart reborn, a new love I will finally try.
And what a splendid day that will be, when I awaken to discover,
I'm happily learning a great new land, with a great new friend and lover.

2011-01-02T21:31:00.000+08:00

Leaving behind 2010... here is 2011...
Hopefully this new year is better.

Reminiscing 2010...
Deaths, Losts, Pain, Sadness, Crazy times, Love, Aches, Happiness....

Here are some pics, which is not in order (well I tried to put them in order) which help to summarise my 2010...

Getting to know colleagues from ward 37... Officially a staff there.
Our Netball game.

(From Left- Amy, Lina, me, Xiao Yan, Meifen, Yan Peng and Elaine)

(From Left- Lina, me, Xiao Yan, Elaine and Amy)

Breaking Fast with the Ward 37 colleagues...

(From Left- Kak Mas, Ita, Susi, Kak Wahidah and her kids, Za'idah, me, Siti & her daughter)

And then, it was Raya... Fast huh how time flies...

(Ok, ok... instead of visiting people, my siblings and I went to eat at KFC instead... That's my irritating bro behind sticking a straw through my hair- it's DIY extension FYI)

Revamping Letchmi's room secretly with Zi Hui while she's out at work- night shift

Going out with Crazy Friends on a Crazy, wet zoo trip. A blastful and happening day it is.

(From Left: Jelai, Letchmi and me)

1st Mid-autumn Day Festival I have celebrated...

(From Left- Zi Hui, A fellow colleague whom I can't remember the name, me, Letchmi & Elaine)

(The beautiful lanterns...)

(Me & the best friends)

(Lastly, a blur pic of me =p)

Gunung Lambak Expedition at Malaysia. Had a blast too! Just love the wet weather and the company though my legs are KILLING me. Outings like this makes me feel recharged and healthier.

(Clockwise starting from the pink cap- Yan Chang, me, Za'idah, Faizah, Ming Fei and Jeremy)

(Halfway through the peak of the mountain... legs already wobbly and the wet rainy day makes it more difficult to climb up the mountain.)

(Taking a short rest to catch our breaths.)

Celebrated my bday at Sentosa... -sigh- getting older

(The lovely scrapbook that my bestfriends did for me)

(The beuatiful bday cake that they specially made for me... really touched.)

(At Fort Siloso...)

(My CRAZY friends!!! <3)

(Pieces of scraps and pics for my scrapbook)

Going out with the best friends...

(Letchmi & me)

(Paid and got on a small boat as I have always wanted... Not really as amazing as I have expected.)

Company's Dinner and Dance as Neytiri from avatar...

Got popular for a day. Loads of posing for cameras and with unknown people...

One girl even approached me n took a pic with me... Then she said-

Girl: Do you know me?

Me: *stunned* No

Girl: Then I don't know you...

Me: *thinking- wth if i know you, i would have said your name and that question you pose to me is totally unnecessary... you are not miss popular for me to KNOW you... sheesh*

I'm not being snobbish just cause I dress that way but ugh... kinda difficult to explain it here.

(Farhah & me)

(Some unknown Kakak & me)

(Siti & me)

Celebrated Zi hui's Bday at Nabins and later, Haagen Daz at Clarke Quay...

(Letchmi's lamb)

(Zi Hui's Chicken)

(Our drinks)

(My lovely Sama' Ma'li... yummm)

(Our finished food)

(Haagen Daz with a really full tummy)

(And her bday cake which we delivered especially to her)

Lastly... The wishes and a beautiful night at esplanade...

(Mine)

(Zi Hui's)

(Letchmi's)

2010... it has brought me great pain, heartache and tears... with never-ending support from my pillars of strength- my family and friends, I don't think I'll be here today.

Thank you all for existing in my life. Thank you so much. YOU are the reason I'm still going strong.

And here, I am ready to welcome 2011... Hopefully what I hope for will come true...

life

2010-10-06T17:53:00.000+08:00

Dear God... I don't know who i really am...
I realized now that I always have to put up a fake front whenever I'm with anyone else...
I'm tired... Too tired of how I am...

For all these while.. I don't even understand myself.
One day, I'm happy and another just sad...
And when I'm sad... it's just me n myself- no others involved.
I bottled it all up.
Yes it kills me.
And all I wish now is to have an ending to it.

What the hell is wrong with me?
I isolate myself from others.
My feelings are just numb.
But when I get sensitive, it hurts. It hurts real bad.
And no one knows this.
I can't just tell anyone... I really don't know how to let my feelings out.

Who am I?
I ain't a good daughter, sister, friend, colleague or a nurse.
I'm nothing.
A person who finds life worthless.
Who live a routine and sad life.

gone for good

2010-08-21T23:51:00.000+08:00

I've lost my phone and it's the 2nd time ever in my life. Worse is, it's like 3-5months or so after I've lost my iphone.
Gone for good? Maybe. =(
My sweetest memories are in there...
I treasure all the sweetest messages that friends sent and maintained it in my inbox.

I'm bitter, kinda numb right now to feel really sad.
All my contacts are gone, yes ALL.
Now, back to my basic Nokia handphone.

Isn't it the most gorgeous and loyal handphone ever? =p Hmm... 6 years...

Life Currently...

2010-08-08T10:44:00.001+08:00

( Photo from- toothpastefordinner)

Just thinking about the future makes me nervous. The more I look at how others are living their life, I got scared. I think terrified is the better word though it holds the same meaning. And yes, I got terrified. I wish to pull through it of course but I don't think I'm strong enough to do so.
Sometimes, I just wish an "annual leave" is possible in life. If God could grant it, I would choose my leave and come back fresh.

I really do not know how my mom managed n still is managing life's difficult situations. How she love my dad so much but suddenly, he is gone. The Almighty God, took his life away.
Imagine the love of your life, one that you want to spend your whole life with, isn't there with you any longer. I would personally feel lonely, feel empty and feel really worthless. What makes it even worse is, mom had to carry the responsibility of raising up 5 naughty kids by herself and had to go through shit loads of excruciating pain. I witnessed it- people discriminating her and being so (can i say fckin?)ly rude to her in front of our eyes. But mom, being a widow n raising us 5 kids, I respect and love her for that.

When I look around, I noticed couple who used to be in love- a love that once was so sincere, so true and now no longer... shattered. What is all these? Is it so easy for people to fall out of love? Why can't they hold on to it and love each other like before? Why are they toying with love?

Isn't love sacred?

My friend used to say, "love shall disappear but commitment is what stays in a relationship". How true is this phrase? Can anyone enlighten me?
"love hurts"- a cliche remark. No matter what level your love is or who you are in love with- kids, parents, boyfriend, friend. Once they hurt you, the pain is there. So yes, "love hurts" but how can we treasure the sacredness of love? Or shall we just not love a person wholeheartedly?

Love, it is a part of life. And it is what I am so afraid of in the future.

Broken Promises & Broken Hearts

2010-08-04T04:36:00.000+08:00

It hurts, yes it does.
It feels like my heart's been sliced apart.
I miss u.

2010-07-26T02:24:00.000+08:00

Release me... that's all I want right now...

Randomizer

2010-07-22T12:47:00.000+08:00

I dyed my hair ash green!!!Just a little though at the back. But, it turns out to be more yellowish =(. I will probably bleach and redye it again some other time. My hair's getting dry too. Gonna do some hair treatment myself later.

Ugh, I am such an emotional person- missing so many people in life right now and I don't know why I'm tearing up. I kinda miss my elder sister. It was just yesterday that I had went out with her, dying our hairs together while having to babysit her daughter. It was a messy scene! I guess my sister is on the plane now, back to Aussie. I wanted so much to wake up and bid her farewell but I was tired and I know that it will make me cry. And when i woke up, there was a text from her, asking me to take care of her daughter for her. It feels painful and my heart kind of aches for her, relating to her daughter, Celmira and her being apart.

I miss us as a whole, my family being together. It will be even better if late dad and grandma is still around... Shit, it makes me feel lonely now.

Work? One word- sucks. I hate work but I have to keep pulling through it and pray hard to God that all will go well. But it pays me well for my bonus though. I really do not know how my future is gonna be- still hazy... BUT, I'm going on leave soon!!! YAY!

What else...

I wanted to do nose piercing so much but mom was against the idea. Her excuse, "U will look like a wild red-indian person" MOM. *rolls eyes* and then she goes on saying that it will not heal well after I pierced it. Jeez. Oh well... Oh rite, I have 10 facial sessions which I paid for 500bucks and I still have yet to go!!! Worst, it was last years! Damn.

Alrights.
Adios. xoxoxo.

Meaningless life

2010-06-23T22:51:00.001+08:00

( Photo from- deviantart)

When you feel that life has no meaning...
When it feels like it is all a bad dream...
A fairytale with many twists in between...

What will u do?

Will you try to wake up from it or will you just take the shortcut and end the story?

wipe away

2010-06-07T11:57:00.003+08:00

( Photo from: deviantart )

How long?
How long more should I wait?
How long more should I pretend?
Trying to keep my soul alive?

How long?
For how long will it be this way?
Hurt conquering and killing...
Pain is the only thing alive in me...

dream

2010-06-06T20:09:00.006+08:00

( Photo from- deviantart )

I cried in my dreams and when i woke up, i realized i was crying too...
It's scary.

I had a dream, about my mom. I was on the way to work and to make things worst, I have no phone.

(Amazingly, this dream ties in with the reality. Somehow, in my dream, I know that I've lost my phone- which is weird.)

So, I don't know how, I received the news that my mom had passed away.
I can't really remember the dream cause this happened days back. Anyways, I informed my workplace of the terrible news and i went straight home.

...

I woke up, my face all wet and my heart feels bitter. I was weeping and then I noticed it was just, i guess, 7am?
It made me realized how much i should treasure my mom.
I went to check on her, to find out that she's asleep. So, I went back to sleep.

What if that really happens- my dream turning into reality?

a wish, is just a wish

2010-05-28T21:17:00.001+08:00

Since I'm young, I've always wanted to dance... To me, it's an art, a form of self-expression.
I remembered mom going against the idea.
Her reasons-

Outrageous outfits
Dad would not consent to it either

Tsk, mom oh mom...

Well, I've always wanted to be in ballet that I consented myself to join at the age of 7.
But I got so terrified-

"what if mom knows?"
"does it hurts to tiptoe?"
"will the teacher scold me and make me cry like she did to my friend?"
"can i do the splits?"

I dropped out by the 2nd lesson which I regret, alot. . Till this moment, I'd love to learn and dance ballet gracefully.

What about you? Do you love to dance?

If you could only read one magazine for the rest of your life, which would it be?

2010-05-28T19:52:00.001+08:00

hmm... I guess that would be Cleo?

Feel free to ask me anything =)

Are you more of a talker or more of a listener?

2010-05-28T19:51:00.001+08:00

More of a listener, but I do talk more when I'm comfortable with someone =)

Feel free to ask me anything =)

work, damn work

2010-05-25T11:08:00.000+08:00

Working again later. pffft. Hope all goes well *prays*

Photoshop

2010-05-24T21:00:00.003+08:00

I am just being random. Edited this pic like months back.

I know!!! Blue eyes- FAKE! but pretty =D love it.

i phone hurts

2010-05-24T18:53:00.003+08:00

I wrote this on the 21.05.2010, and I feel like typing it out...

"I wish I could capture the beautiful scenery right now- a "perfect" day at the beach. But no, it is not even perfect and no, the only thing I can capture is the memory of having the phone right there, in my hand, just yesterday... Having fun, clicking pictures.

I hate going through the pain of losing something so dear and valuable to me. People can only sympathize but not empathize me... and it's true.

It feels like I've lost myself, a part of my life... Like my phone, it feels like I was being swept away by the cruel waves and then drown. Maybe I exaggerate it too much, but that is how I'm feeling.

Now, I'm just sitting, watching the evil waves glistening beautifully but slamming their mighty selves roughly on the sand. Wishing, waiting full of hope,that I'd find my phone... However it has probably already been consumed by the sea, buried down under..

I feel vulnerable. I want someone to be here with me, console, protect me. Yet, I feel like isolating myself too... I was too attached to it. It's hard."

Yes, Ive lost my iphone... and it's day 4 of it. Believe it or not, i dropped it in the sea. I still feel sad though. Really sad. I'm careless. So people, start swimming at East Coast Beach. Who knows it's your luck to get that beautiful iphone of mine and maybe kind enough to return it to me? =) *still so hopeful*

Jeez. iphone!!! I miss u!!!! )=

Down

2010-05-19T11:05:00.001+08:00

I don't know why I'm down..
I feel like locking myself away from everyone right now...

I hate life.

Random

2010-05-17T20:36:00.001+08:00

I kicked a snail! Frigging big snail!
Yucks.
Where do snails come from? And how do they breed?

Hmm...

Rough day at work.. A DIL patient for operation and DNR status revoked..
What is then the use of DNR?

Financially strain

2010-05-15T21:41:00.001+08:00

Money. Ugh. I hate that word. I thought we'll soon be debt-free but, no.
Singapore is expensive... Correction, living is expensive.

I should try to cut down on cab rides. And I can save approx ($10 x $30) $300 to $400 bucks per month...
It's tough...

Talking bout cab, this cabby asked if I'm a Eurasian?! Hahha.. Wth I don't look Eurasian dude! And later he starts asking if I'm married bla bla bla...
Well, I lied :p I said im attached.. Heee..
It's kinda freaking me out tho cuz he keeps looking and looking and looking... Being "over friendly"And talking and talking and talking when all I want is silence.
Just silence.

I admit, i'm anti-social. Whatever.

There was once too that I told a white lie to a cabby. I said I'm married but even that, it doesn't stop him to enter my personal space.
"where's ur husband?," "what is he working as?" "how many kids u have and how old?" "why didn't u work with him?"

Imagine what he would have asked if I told him i'm single!!! -shudders-

Well, well grad day coming soon!!! Have yet to try on the grad outfit. Hmm, hmm.
Mom cant make it, which is kinda sad.. But it's ok, shall try to be independent.
Then after... Meet some crazy friends to... Partaaaaaayyy!!! Can't wait! -squeals-

Here without u...

2010-05-15T00:35:00.001+08:00

I know I can't.. And it hurts me deeply just to think bout it...

I don't want history to repeat... I'm scared... Really am..

All of these... It's insane. It's like i'm living in darkness. I lied to myself...
I know it's impossible..

Who am i kidding? It is impossible!!! ):
But still, deep down I pray real hard and I know that i can turn the impossible to possible...

:(

2010-05-11T08:24:00.001+08:00

No I'm not ok...

Random

2010-05-05T22:49:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, it is better to keep things to urself... Don't you think so?

I love pouring out my feelings so blogging is the only hmm...
How shall I put it? Smart way I guess...

I'm trying to refrain myself from facebooking much.
A person's status may sound ridiculously stupid tho it means so much to them. And it is kinda 'eeky' when it looks like you are trying so hard to gain attention from others.
So nuh uh Syahida, no attention-seeking statuses.

Damn I'm tired... Had a frigging busy afternoon at work when patients' Blood
Pressure starts plunging. But I'm fulfilled with my management (: oh, except for me failing to insert an iv cannula. Blame the damn thing!!!

Weeee hooopeedoo.. Bus is finally here!!!

Quarter life

2010-05-04T21:20:00.001+08:00

Nearing the quarter stage of life scares me...
When u have to be responsible for almost everything...
When u have to start learning the customs that had been passed on from generation to generation..
When u encounter life, death, love and have to take actions for it...

I've always been oblivious to all these till I slowly realised that I'm young, no longer,..

Lady gaga rumour

2010-05-03T12:40:00.001+08:00

Anyways, lady gaga's leg amputation was a rumour.

Naive me.

Stupid cabby

2010-05-03T12:38:00.001+08:00

Argh!!! Stupid cabby!
It's plain simple instruction, " go straight" yet he turned.
Here I am late for work, trying to get the fastest route there and he's making me later.

God.

Fly away

2010-05-01T22:45:00.002+08:00

When will it be my turn to fly?

Anyways, real proud of bro and sis ;)
Wishing all the best for both of u and of cuz the other 2 irritating siblings.

Im such a sweet sister 

Hollywood gone crazy

2010-05-01T14:59:00.001+08:00

What the hell.
What is up with ungrateful humans nowadays?

Lady gaga did a below knee amputation and she thinks it is cool?!

Thinking that it is fashion and this trend is a godsend... Ugh.
She's destroying peoples' lives out there.
People, it is so NOT COOL ok.
It is NOT FASHION.
Treasure the beauty of ur body and the wonderful things that it helps us with.
It's a shame to her.

And I may be outdated..
I saw the video of akon throwing a kid off stage and people cheering for him.
They think they are celebrity and people will accept what they did? Bullshit.
Used to like akon and respect how he's able to go so far tho an ex convict.
Now I'm starting to detest him.

It's scary how Hollywood can influence some of the moronic, idiotic, stupid people out here.
What are they trying to portray?
Contradicting much.

Le forte

2010-05-01T14:23:00.001+08:00

Been thinking bout le forte lately. I don't know whether to proceed or no..
The changes it does to one is miracle..
But for sure again, my family will disagree with the idea.

I have a strong feeling to fight against it.
Cause the ultimatum is my feelings.
They are not me, thus it is not helping even if they try to reassure me...

Money is an issue... And le forte costs a crazy sum of money- Another point why I'm holding back.
BUT I did a lil research and I found out that Canadians go through the surgery for free!!!
Yes, F R E E.
Oh the unfairness.

Well the dentist said that both my upper and lower jaw is not proportionate to my forehead.Hence that explains the weird profile view and the really low self-esteem I have. She recommended surgery and braces or probably just braces...

I've decided on braces but I'm having a second thought now.

I now have an upper teeth braces the lower one will be on me in 2 months. Can't wait for the next visit. Meanwhile, I'll probably try to consult another orthodontist... Hmm..

2010-04-30T21:40:00.002+08:00

I'm clueless... really am..
For how long shall I remain this way?
Questions partially answered... negativity overpowering everything else...
At a certain point, I feel determined.. but I was let down again...

it's my mistake...

2010-01-28T20:20:00.009+08:00

Been wasting money ALOT on shoppin lately, spent like 600 bucks in 5 days... Oh My Gosh. Alrighty so here goes, some products that I have invested on...

Charles Worthington Volumising shampoo

You guys should totally try this product- especially if u have "limpy" hair like mine. I've just started using it for 3 days but the effect is unbelievably awesome. It doesn't dry up your hair, instead, it gives volume to it...... (duh -.-) and you'll be happy to show off your new bouncy hair. Costs $14.95 ( kinda weird cost- 5 cents more to 15 bucks) and it is available at Watsons. It also comes with many different types.. like for example if you want a tamer hair, there's an anti-frizz shampoo.. and if you are a blondy, there is shampoo for that color too! cool or what?! hmm if you are afraid it will dry up your hair, go purchase the conditioner as well!!! As simple as that.

Formula 10.0.6 (click to enlarge)

Bought these too. It is actually a mud mask, with 3 different types- detox, pore cleanser and shine reducer. There's even strawberry and orange flavor! Yumm...

So first, you have to clean ur face with warm water, dry it and apply a thin layer to your neck + face. Leave it on for 10-15 minutes, wash it and voila, nice non-sticky feeling. Costs just $2.50 for one packet. It can probably also lasts for 6-8 times usage.

Another product is this Ellips Hair Vitamin.

It basically comes in 6 small cute capsule-like thingy per packet and it costs 2 bucks plus. (can't recall) What you have to do is break the thingy and apply the liquid on your half dried hair. Then, leave it to dry on its own. You will have this lovely smell on your hair. Anyways, I do not know how well it works cause I've only tried it twice. As you can see, i used 2 "capsules" each time.

More stuffs that I have bought but too lazy to upload the pictures. Currently, lost my damn camera charger so, I have to make do with the phone camera.

Okies... till then... gotta rest for night shift later... ugh =( toodles.

2010-01-19T11:02:00.002+08:00

Love this song by Sarah Connor- came across it by chance while browsing other music videos.

Ahhh, my tummy cant stop aching and i have been feelin giddy these few days. Probably it's due to what i've been eating? ugh. ok my fault. I've been tryin to lose weight n i managed BUT still, i wanna reach my ideal weight!!! it's 38 kg....

Right now, im 44kg, so... 44-38= *thinks, thinks* 6kg more!!! Why is it that hard to lose 6kg? Alright, i'll just publish this post right now.. wanna go watch more music videos and search for unique n beautiful songs like the one above.

2010-01-17T18:18:00.003+08:00

Ok.. so it's been like ages since my last update.
Browse through this nuffnang website and decided to give it a try.
hopeeeefullly it'll work. *prays*
n ouchhh! my damn back hurts- been editing this blog since like 3 pm. -.- zzzz
and later, have to get ready for boring workin life.

ohhhhh shucks!

2008-01-02T15:48:00.001+08:00

chopping off my hair on new year's day....
is like losing sumone tat i really love.
damn, i regretted it sooooo sooooo much.
i love u hair.... sigh... ='(
n it will take 2 years to grow back tat long....

but pple say tis present hair suits me.
i still prefer my loooooong hair- tho it's kinda troublesome to manage.
i actually wanted to keep it long...
juz like chelsea- the girl in the pic of my previous entry.
gosh. i'm shtoooooooopid.
nvm, at least i dare to try.

aniwaes, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL.

i'm a murderer. i killed my own hair. =(

2007-12-27T00:39:00.001+08:00

CHELSEA KORKA

she's such a doll! n i've rooted for her all along.
too bad she dint win on the reality show-
search for the next pussycat doll.
well, hopefully she'll go solo successfully.

2007-10-21T23:13:00.002+08:00

one week & one day of raya has passed. reeeaaally fast huh? anw, today was one of those tirin' "hari raya" days again. coz many relatives came over. was s'pposed to go over to my colleagues' open house. but nah, i'd rather spend my off day helpin' mum instead of feelin' uncomfortably neglected amongst pple whom i don't know......................................................................... -_-

sigh........................................................................................................................... there're alot of tins playin' ard in my mind. i'd rather keep it personal.... gosh, wat's wrong wit me?!!! sigh.... =( and yaaawn. sleepy n cold. rite now, i'm wrappin' myself wit my blanket in the room. i did increased the temp but it's cold still. nonetheless, i feel comfortable tho underneath the warmth of my lurvely blanket. if only, i'm stress-free tis way everyday. if only.

let me summarise my life event tis 1 wk n 1 day of raya.
sat(hari raya): -Went to Granny's house and stayed home thereafter. Coz.... the relatives would come over.

sun: feelin' feverish but went out to jln raya wit family. yep, 9 pple SQUEEZED in inside tis doreamon-like mini car. who says it's IMPOSSIBLE?

later, i tumpang in tis bigger car.

luckily, another cousin of mine went out together wit us. so total, 4 families.
n me, i took the lorry wit 'em. juz lurve the night breeze.

mon & tues: took MC coz i'm down wit a very bad flu. whole body is aching.
but went out aniwaes wit dearest family to jln raya on Mon.
rented a mini bus for a day.

okies. till den. i'll update the followin' days in the nxt posting.
toodles!!!

2007-10-08T00:01:00.001+08:00

5 more days to raya...
gosh. i'm like so not looking forward to it.
and i'm like so not prepared tho i've bought my raya clothes way back in June.
Kiasu rite? i noe. =P

Ever heard the song sung by Alias Kadir which goes like tis-
kuih raya belum buat, baju raya belom beli, bil api air belom bayar. Huh? Bil api air belom bayar? ALAMAK!!! Aku raya dlm gelap!!!

yeah. yeah- tis time, i felt tat way. I've yet to settle on MANY tins.
Haven't put aside money to give my grandma, and also, green pkts for those lil rascals...
OH shucks!!! And my face- goodness me. Tiny bumps & lumps appear like nbdy's business on my face n leave unsightly burn marks. HOW??? I need money to purchase my skin care products which i've totally neglected 1 year back!!! Foolishly tinkin' tat no more pimples will haunt me. If only i've got the magic skills...
Wait, wait. My hair? soooo messy still. HOW??? HOW?? HOW?
Anybdy wanna cut for me??? But please, i want a pro. hahahahaha. ok shut up syahida.
i noe i'm very the annoying. muahahaha.

hmm. so. wat hv i been up to tis fasting month?
went out wit family, frenz & cuzzins for a mini gathering and break fast together.

to seoul garden wit my beloved ones (my family) for the 2nd day of fast...

to pizza huts, den played bowling and later sheesha-ing wit my crazy cuzins last week. (no pics, left my cam at home) Went out wit ard 11 of the cuzzies from break of fast till 'sahur' the followin' day den headed home. foooh... luckily i wasn't workin' the nxt day.

to Geylang to find raya clothes & raya stuffs wit my crazy frenz...
(Kak Su, Abg Amat, Nurul, Jan & Lyd...)

((KRAYON!!!!! wen r we goin' out huh??? Ms World also said wanna go out wit me but till now no response... hmph...))

went ard visitin' pple. my aunty who has juz given birth to a baby boy... Ridhwan

visited my aunty from KL at her hotel. Dint catch her pic but here's a pic of my cuzzin's baby boy- Mukhri, the cute one on the right.

The cherubic fair one on the left is Hoda's lil baby bro- Omar

ok, to refresh ur mind up a bit, here's hoda...

i juz lurve these munchkins!!! babies juz light up my day... =)

ouh,,, in bout 4 hours time, i've to get ready for work and i still have yet to rest my tired self.
well, a lil update bout work... am still tryin' to grab a hang of everytin'... sigh.
tryin' to cheer myself up n not tinkin' much. Whatsmore wit my personal probs... Sumtimes, i juz wish i can escape from it all. Confidin' in pple doesn't do much to oneself, i realised. what i need now is to boost my inner self-confidence & juz be my independent self. I dun need sumbdy like YOU who is sooooo not sincere in helpin' me okay... Wen u nd help, u're there but wen i nd help... u're nowhere. watever. freak. I'm not gonna let YOU play ard wit me no more. note tat?!?

lalalalalalalalalyfeiswonderful... HOPEFULLY.

alritey. til den. wo yao shleeeeeeeeep liao. toodles-oodles.

unanswered still... clueless y.

2007-09-14T14:43:00.001+08:00

Slamat Berpuase pple!!!

work... so far has been slightly better.
but i still feel hesitant to ctnue workin' there.
true, as days go by, i learnt many new tins.
but i've also discovered the characters of my colleagues.
how long am i able to stay rooted to tis job huh???

anws,
there are some NYP nursing students for attachmt at my ward.
read this- a conversation between me n a student on the 1st fasting day.

.....................................................................................................

NYP student: u not going for break?

me: no lah, i'm dieting.

NYP student: really ah?

me: no lah... i'm fasting lar.. haha...

NYP student: huh? u Malay?

me: uhuh.... den?

NYP student: u dun look like malay...

.....................................................................................................

that girl is funny, man.

but there are a few instances that pple thought i'm not a malay.
hahahahaha... anyhow, anyhow, anyhow. anyhowdotcom. bleargh.

i miss my frenz alot, alot, alot man!!!
those times wen we slack around.
those gossipy times....
now, we've seldom meet up.
wenever, i'm off, they're workin' n vice-versa.
my life is getin' more n more monotone.
i miss u all!

sarcasm won't hit me.

2007-09-09T23:03:00.000+08:00

wat if...
one day u came across my blog...
u read the entries...
u tot everytin' is goin' fine in my life...
but later, u found out tat i had long gone...
gone from tis world.

i dun need an answer coz there's none, i guess.

2007-09-03T21:55:00.000+08:00

THANK YOU...
to:

My beloved family
-MUM
-elder sis
-elder bro
-younger sis
- younger bro
-kak lisa
-kak jijah

My NYP frens
-Nurul Roger
-Kak Suhailah
-Jannah Jennot
-Choy Fung
-Huda Sewel
-Feng Lin
-Sze Min
-Tracy

My fren of frens
-Lydia Didilia
-Zali (Nurul's bf)
-Nooreen
-'Complicated'
-Aishah

My Esprit frens
-Rollette
-Aida
-Joyce
-Muhd
-Saleha
-Fudge
-Mie-Ann
-Lorna
-'Happy'

My CGH frens
-Kak Madalinah
-n the rest of my colleagues-
-oh, my patients too...

n to the rest whom i've missed out.
thk u for tryin' to cheer me up on tat 'special' but 'not-so-special' day.

"No one is so accursed by fate. No one so utterly desolate.
But some heart, though unknown, responds unto his own"
(Henry Wadsworth Longfellow).

me: yes, i know, Mr Longfellow but it can't be helped.

2007-09-03T21:33:00.000+08:00

tis heart is constantly weeping...

but, do happiness comeforth like sunshine after rain?

2007-08-30T23:54:00.000+08:00

happy 20th bdae to me!!!
may GOD bless u, Syahida.
be happy tho i noe, u aren't.
hehehe. i noe, super no shame rite?
okay, i have a few more mins before my bdae ends.
thanx to those who have wished me. be it my 'well wishers' or watsoeva.
thank you loads. appreciatas.
i'm kinda tired rite now so i won't enter the names of those pple.
nxt time maybe.

wat happened today? wat did u do on ur bdae?

sigh.... work lor. work, n work, n work.
tho work sucks, i'd still have to work.
afternoon shift summore. =(. grrrrrr.
anw, i dun have anytin' to look fwd to on my bdae.
it feels juz like any other ordinary day.
sad to say, tis bdae is notin' to me.
really. it's N-O-T-H-I-N-G. urgh.

but i'm really touched by wat my 2 lurvelies did for me.
nurul n lydia actually came down to my ward n surprised me.
n look wat they bought for me-
a huge cute blueeeeeeey donkey seat.

thank you lurvely fwens.
words alone ain't good enough to express my gratitude to u guys.

ouh... i bought for myself many, many, MANY bdae gifts too!
see... these books are one set of gifts i bought for me!!!

okie pple. i'm reaaally sweeeepy. gd nite, gd nite.
but wait, i tin' i'm gonna read tat pink book before i doze off to my dreamland...
toodles pple.

i tot u'd never... wud u?

2007-08-28T20:16:00.001+08:00

went out wit my poly fren, sze min rite after work tho i was absolutely drained.
we talked n shared bout our lifes. truthfully, i felt kinda awkward. =P
anw, she gave me a treat at swensens! so unexpected.
it was rreeeeeeeaaaaaaallly sweet of her...
she even bought me tat cute lil red mushroom n tat flower.
me? i dint even have anytin' for her. (yaaakdooosh, syahida!)
nevamind, there's always a next time. rite?

now, i have 1 new addition to my flower collection!!!!
weeeeeeeeeehoooooooooooooo.
who wanna buy me summore? puhleeeeeese. heeee.
it's adorable ain't it? well, it brought a pinch of happiness into me.

ohkay, i may sound happy in tis entry but i'm actually not.
i live everyday like a walkin' zombie- tryin' to desensitize my emotions.
sigh... not gonna bore u wit another 'i-hate-work episode' but I DO HATE WORK...
='(
heck, i'm gonna enter it in tis entry aniwaes.
quittin' has always been playin in my mind. n to tin' of it's consequences, quittin' i mean, will juz make me suffer more. it's hopeless. my life, is ruin.
i'm tired if tinkin'... i'm tired of life.

i'm gonna grow old in a few days time n yeah, it did not even excites me.
i'm not lookin' forward to it. i dun have anytin' to look forward to.
everytin' looks so dull to me. not black, not white. not even grey- juz dull.

ohkay, back to saturday.
after tat short meetin' wit sze min, i met up wit lydia n nurul coincidentally.
as usual, instead of doin' sum catchin' up, we talk rubbish.

k lah, i'm tired n sleepy. yaaaaaaaaaaaawn.
ouh, i ordered 21 bucks worth of sushis to my house today.
most of it has been eaten tho. want some?

CANNOT! hahahahaha. toodles lurvlies. mmuahs.

if only it's possible to end everything. if only.

2007-08-20T23:05:00.000+08:00

keep worryin' and worryin' bout work...
juz can't get it out of my chest...
y do u have to be damn weak syahida!
WHY? ='(
i've neva felt so lonely and troubled at the same time.
til it reaches to an extent tat i feel it's easier if i put an end to my life.
yes, i noe. it's sinful. and yes, i noe i have to be strong like wat many advised.
-don't lose hope
-give urself some chance
-dun tin' negative
but it's not easy u see. i'm a weakling. weak- juz very weak.

"Ya Allah, hanya engkau sahaja yang memahami perasaan ku ini. Dan kepada engkau jua aku memohon pertolongan dan perlindungan demi hidupku ini. Amin."

and mum, i'm VERY greatful to have u. neva will there be any other mum tat cud replace u in my life. i'm awed at how strong u r to care for 5 stubborn children of urs since dad passed away. without u, i dun tin' i wud survive up til now. and without ur prayers, i dun tin' i can struggle my way thru conflicts. time n time again u've always been there for me. makin' limitless sacrifices for me n my siblings. my gratitude to u is deeper den tis, mum.
mum, if eva i go away before u do, i apologise for all my sins. i'm sorry to have hurt ur feelins.
also, if eva i wud hurt ur feelins in the near future, i apologise before hand. i'm extremely sorry and i lurve u loads. thanks mum for EVERYTHING.

as i said earlier, i feel very lonely and troubled.
actually, i planned to spend my day in the library readin' books.
but i dun have the mood.
so, i stayed home. but after a while, i feel restless.
hence, decided to go down to shop wit sis.
that's her.

and that's me.

and this, is our residential area.

on our way to the shops.

after spendin' bout 20 bucks on rubbishities, we headed back home.
that's her AGAIN.

that's me. the SHORT me.

i felt bored so, i ended up rentin' vcds, havin' my own mini movie marathon at home.

1 more left to view. til den. gd bye n sleep well pple.
toodles. muahs.

clouds do cry too wen it's heavily burdened.

2007-08-18T03:24:00.000+08:00

y muz i walk along tis winding path?

2007-08-17T23:59:00.000+08:00

been havin' a very hard time wit life lately...
almost gave up..
but, the hurdle ain't over yet...
n i'm still doubtful whether i'm strong enuf to go thru all tis..
to pple tat i've endlessly confide my problems to,
"thank u n thank u once again...
sorry if i may have troubled u guys...
n sorry if i may have make u confused too... sorry."
i'm such a useless n hopeless person.
sigh.... i hate myself.

was s'posed to go work today.
but i happened to get MC for 2 days.
wanted to report back to work but they told me to rest at home instead...
urgh...

anw, went out wit mum n my younger siblings to fetch my cute lil nephews...
since we havent had our lunch yet, i decided to give 'em a treat at pizza hut's.

den headed to kak lisa's crib.

see, her 3 cute lil babies... i lurve 'em.
kids really have the power to liven us up.

frm kak lisa's crib... we headed back to our home sweet home.
in..... a van.

tat's all i can upload 4 now...
for more pics, go visit my multiply-

oh, i din't get to meet the cute girl i told u guys bout in my previous entry.
toodles pple. take care.

experiencin' is harder den juz verbal stuffs.

2007-08-14T22:05:00.001+08:00

I feel better now.
At least slightly better.
damn those pple.
anw, thx to those who had encouraged and advised.
lurve, lurve u pple.
sigh..... will i succeed in tis line?
can i cope wit the heavy job responsibilities?
can i?
gosh, it will take time for me to recover.....
='(

after work, headin' home on a rainy day..
there's tis cute girl callin' out for me-

--------------------------------------------------------

cute girl: makcik, makcik...

me: (huh? she called me makcik? looks at her)

cute girl: makcik ni doctor eh?

me: (huh? doctor? hahahaha... cute nyer) tak...

cute girl: abeh? dentist eh?

me: (hahahaha... she's cute!!!) tak.... nurse.

cute girl: (scratches and tilt head sideways) nurse? nurse to ape? mcm doctor eh?

me: (smile) tak... nurse to mcm doctor nye assistant.
(i actually dun wanna tell her that, later she'll have tis idea stucked in her
tat nurses are doctors 'hand maiden'. but to elaborate more will juz make the explanation complex to her.)

cute girl: oh...

me: asal?

cute girl: takde...

me: buat pe kat sini? nak share payung?

cute girl: tak yah.. tgh tunggu mak..

me: (so sweeeet lah she...) k lah. buhbye.

cute girl: bye!!!

as i walk a few steps further....

cute girl: (shouts) kakak!!!

me: (huhhhh? turns around)

cute girl: kakak balik kul brape tadi? (tilts her head again)

me: 3... erm, asal eh? (totally clueless y she asked tat.)

cute girl: tak, rase mcm nak jumpa kakak lagi gitu..

me: hehehe... erm, ok..

cute girl: ok, jumpa besok (smiles widely)

me: ohkay! (weird... nonetheless, damn cute.)

cute girl: kat sini eh!

me: ohkay! bye.. (smiles and waves...)

cute girl: byeeee... (looks excited.)

--------------------------------------------------------

go check out tis blog i've created. appreciatas.

it's a miracle how kids can bring a smile to us wen we're down..

2007-08-12T19:36:00.000+08:00

i hate work.
i hate those stupid creatures who throw hurtful remarks.
i hate them.
i hate life.
it sucks. big time.

they wudnt realise it but tho how short tat phrase is,
"u're not fit to be a nurse"
it SHATTERED my life.
throwin me into tis anguish state.
thx. are u happy now???!!!!!!!??? ='(

i took up nursing coz i tot i cud prove to myself tat i'm suitable for tis job.
but tat remark turned my life over.
and now, i dun have the confidence.
it was ripped away frm me. how cruel.
='(

i shudn't have stayed behind.
i shudn't have..
I'M NEW OKAY!!!! AND I'VE NEVER SEEN ANY COLLAPSED CASES BEFORE!!!!
FOR U TO SAY TAT IS PLAIN UNFAIR!!!

i locked myself in the staff's toilet and cried and cried...
msged nurul for advise.
later, called kak su, tryin' to hold back my tears.
but i'm very weak- i broke down and kak su realised tat there is sumtin' wrong.
she asked me to cum over.

the weather seems to sense how i feel.
it started to drizzle as i make my way to the mrt.
slowly, it rained heavily once i reached the station.
kak su fetched me at tamp.
den, it started to drizzle again...

upon reachin' kak su's crib, i changed to the clothes she lent me.
and prayed to GOD to provide me strength to carry on wit my life.
(seriously, i felt no joy to live anymore.)
den i poured everytin' to kak su. and she advised.
it was nice and sumhow really comfortin'.
thanks kak su. i miss ur presence now.

anw, i've bought a camera.
my babyblue.

it keeps me company, makin me happy wen i'm down.
i lurve u baby. heehee...
here are sum pics i took wit it.
wait, i'll post my pics at my multiply. go check it out.

oh, and as i've promised, tis is the gigantic frame i've got.

see. the 3 cute birds there. =)

my greatest drawback is my lack of confidence against conflicts.

2007-08-05T16:05:00.001+08:00

feelin' VERY uneasy still.
keep tinkin' n tinkin' bout work...
urgh... (hence, the reason y i refused to go out wit sum.. sorry.)
gonna have to drag my tired feets to work early mornin' tmw.
"Ya Allah, may everytin' in my life flows smoothly...
and please spare me from the troubles in life. Amin."
2 more days til S-A-L-A-R-Y day!

mein tumse pyar karta hoon, people. =)

2007-08-01T18:41:00.000+08:00

i certainly need a real fairy godmother tis time..

to obliterate all these mixed feelins i have in me...
if only i dun own any of these feelins..
if only fairies do exist..
if only.
....sigh....

rite now, i keep tinkin' of my new job.
i'm feelin' kinda stress. miserable to be exact.
tho how nice the colleagues may be, i'm still new.
one wrong step i do, pple might make negative conjecture on me.
hence, carryin it along wit em.
tis, will in turn change into 1st impression.
as wat they say '1st impression lasts'.
it creates the 'foundation us'.
...sigh...

i need sumbdy,
who have been in my position,
who truly understands how i feel rite now..
to assure me tat they've felt likewise.
to explain to me tat wat i feel is normal..
and tat everytin's gonna be fine soon.
..gosh..

anw,
HAPPY MISSY DAY TO ALL THE MISSIES!!!
hey, i got tis huge frame wit chinese hand-woven imprints on the canvas.
(wait, hand-woven or hand woven? hmmm..)
it was damn huge i tell u. almost my height.
the funny tin' was tat i had to carry it home.
the irritatin' part was tat i had to pay for the taxi fare home.
(see lah, all bcoz of u, u gigantic piece! pokai, pokai..)
reached home, mum kinda freaked out. she dun like the chinese look.
den told me to give it away.
so... me, bein' the stubborn one, definitely refused ar.
heeeheeeheeeee...

BUT later, she commented "wah, jahit pakai tangan ni.."
tat means, her heart is startin' to open for tat art piece.
(welcum home gigantic piece!)
k lah... actually i wanna do sum revision but see how lah..
i'll show u guys the pic of tis huge tin i'm talkin' bout nxt time.
mmmmuuuaahhhs. toodles.

vitally require doses of confidence tat have been excreted along the way.

2007-07-30T20:42:00.000+08:00

nerve-recking. TOTALLY.
my 1st day orientation in the ward.
staring at familar n unfamiliar faces.
feelin' rather apprehensive..
dunno wat i should expect nxt.
2nd day... 3rd.. 4th and so on...
hopefully all goes well thru out...
hopefully..... Ya Allah... =(

how i wish it was as fast as i visualized it to be.
8 days to pay day... ching, ching, ching.
weeeehooo.
here cums the princess... ;P

don't u noe wat tis heart yearns for?

2007-07-29T15:47:00.000+08:00

i wanna buy one of these cameras!!!
but i dunno which one to buy... hmmm.
click here to see their functions.
both are equally pretty.

anws, i'm gonna commence workin' in the ward tmw. darn.
tinkin' bout it really accelerates my anxiety level.
oh, no.........!!!!!!!!!!
stop it syahida.

ok, these are sum pics taken durin' those orientation days....

in the bus, on the way to SGH. weeee....

ridin' in Shaz's car to eastpoint!!!
ivy, princess, fairy godmother and queen. khekhekhe.

in the auditiorium.

the one month orientation i had wit my colleagues was fun at times.
weneva boredom dawned on us, all the 'merepek' stuffs will start.
hahaha.
read tis, a letter i got frm shazana a.k.a heiress. *princess refers to me. =)

Hey Princess!
How are you?! You Princess of what ha?! Princess of the word of nonsense eh? hehe.. ;P What did you have for lunch? A plate full of nonsense eh? hehe.. It's ok.. That's why you're my friend. Hehehe.
Heiress.....

and tis sms frm sufiah a.k.a fairy godmother.

Princess pls b quiet! Fairy godmother is studying magic skills. No more nonsense Princess. U wudn't wan me 2 take away ur precious dress n diamonds rite? Okb gd nw.
14:19:24
26.7.2007

the whole lot of us busy doin' sumtin'.

hahahahaha... crazy, crazy pple.
n thx iffa a.k.a queen. hehe.
i grabbed these pics frm ur multiply.
i'm gonna miss u guys. thx for tolerating my nonsense. ;)
n hey, nurul, kak su, jannah & lydia! i miss u guys too ok. =)

yesterday, i went out to catch a movie wit a fren.
----------------------------------------
movie title: Alone
place: Marina Square
comments: ok lar. got sum scary n really shocking moments.
but it seems like i've seen tis similar story line in another movie. hmmm...
----------------------------------------
thx sooooooo much fren for the treat!
i owe u one.. (if u r readin' my blog..)

tip, tap, tip, tap... goes the sound of the rain.

2007-07-25T21:13:00.000+08:00

i'm feelin' kinda sickly lately...
all heaty inside n my body is aching everywhere..
plus the throbbing pain at my head.
-------------------------------------------
insufficient rest/PMS/sepsis???
hrrrmmmm.....
------------------------------------------------------
hope i'm gonna feel better before life workin in the ward starts.
n hopefully, by increasin my fluid intake..
and consumin those Vit C tablets (which i hate eatin')
wud really help boost my weak immune system..

anw, my baju for sis's weddin' is ready for collection!
weeehoooo.. i shall go n try it tmw..
i lurve u aunty!!!
i promise i'm gonna be ur loyal customer if the tailorin' is good.
pangako sayo.
hahahahaha....

i may not have anytin' to prove but i miss u fren.

2007-07-23T21:21:00.000+08:00

dunno y but it seems tat pple out there often tins tat i'm arrogant.
many times they misjudge me.
hehehehe.
am i? do i look arrogant?

seeee. read tis conversation i had wit a fren regarding my new job.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

+k|es+ says: lau bole takmo nmpk kerek2 lah

+k|es+ says: since u new kan

me: pple always tin' i kerek one... n i can only click wit sum pple only..
leceh eh. haha.

+k|es+ says: hkahakhakahkahkahak

+k|es+ says: yalah

+k|es+ says: actuali at st 4 me oso u look kerek uhs

+k|es+ says: bt actuallie ure ok

and the conversation ended wit,

+k|es+ says: igt smile more

me: nanti org pikir giler...

me: i always smile u noe. *grins wide, wide*

-----------------------------------------------------------------

wah liao eh. wat shud i do so tat pple dun tin' tat i'm arrogant????
smile more? ok lah, i'll start smiling more frm now onwards.
regardless of race, language or religion. satisfied?
hehehehehehe.... toodles...

a rush of adrenaline hits me weneva i tin' of it.

2007-07-19T20:57:00.000+08:00

sumtimes..
i juz wish i cud throw my hp far, far, away.
(rosak pun rosak lar...)
den, i wud picture myself at the beach, sitting on top of the huge rocks,
admiring the simplicity yet splendid view of nature.
releasing myself into pure tranquility.
letting my tired self loose- cryin and screamin as loud as i cud.
but, reality, combined wit how small tis country is,
i am bound to gain attention frm the many pple ard.
n of course, "oi, xiao ah?" wud be one of the commonest comments.
it is indeed inevitable. n u'll have to visit me at Woodbridge later. hehe.
so, so, so.. i nd volunteers to be wit me. ppuhleeseee...
who wants to throw 'em hp, sream n shout n get trademarked as sum crazy person?
den go Woodbridge together-gether. (hand in hand. lalalalalalala....)
who? who? who? who? who?

ohkay. judging frm wat i typed in earlier, u guys might conclude tat i'm bein unsociable.
yeah, i admit. tat's how bad i am.
i can be distant to those i've known for long too.
sorry... but tat's me.
anw, reason is, i've still hv yet to iron my life straight.
and discover more complexities of life.
tat's y at times, i'm kinda reserved.
i noe, tis entry is sumhow perplexing to u guys but wat the heck.
tis is my blog.

hmmm... work has been kinda still in the honeymoon stage.
have not started work in the ward yet.
n those gurls above are the ones i've been clickin' wit for the past 3 wks or so.
all of us, will be posted to diff departments. cool huh?
one more wk of orientation and off to torture land we go!!!
zooooooooommmmm....
ouh, i've learn the art of blood withdrawal and cannulation.
pheewit! anybdy wants to be my dummy?
n i've been recertified being CPR abled.
the instructor told me tis, "badan kicik pon bagus ah.."
muahahahaha. tat's FUNNY.

n these are taken during my graduatn day.

(click to enlarge)
see pple. how drowned i look in tat BIG, BIG, BIG graduation robe.

one more tin', my breakouts are gettin' worser!!!!
mayb due to the climate?
dunno lah eh... but i've bought myself tis solution tat costs 30 bucks.
(terkopak duit gue)
n juz one day, the zits are tamed. =)
lesser n lesser.
hope it'll be tis way. till foreva, n eva, n eva n eva n eva.

countin the days go by...

2007-07-04T18:22:00.000+08:00

i've started my new job...
well, in case sum of u dint noe, i've quit my part-time job.
i'm officially a staff nurse at CGH!!!
gosh... i'm actually a nurse! a staff nurse!
later, the relatives, the patients and EVERYBODY wud call for me.
"staff nurse, staff nurse..."
"missy, missy..."
oh my goodness... am i really, really ready for all this?
do u believe me? I'm actually a staff nurse!
ok, ok, *breathes in, breathes out*
i've to be quick in adjusting myself to a new environment.
maintain calm syahida.... relax....

anw pple, i'm in the surgical/orthopaedics ward.
and it's a male ward.
those workin' in CGH might more or less noe which ward i'm referrin' to.
not gonna tell u the exact ward i'm workin' in. privacy reasons... heee.
oh, i'll repeat again. i'm in a MALE ward.
am i stern enuff to counter difficult male patients?
am i? i hope so... i'll learn, slowly...
and of coz, i hope to be the best!!!
pray for me ok lovelies...

(click to enlarge)

hey. if any nosy pple out there who had been wonderin' y i chose nursin'.
here's y.
i wanted to get into teachin' sooo much tat i've applied for a scholarship and tried diploma even.
i tried, n wen they reply tat i wasn't accepted due to the overwhelming response they rcvd, i was extremely shaken.
(anw, part of it was mayb due to my poor diploma results. it's my fault. i dint know poly results were important. i work, and studied at the same time.)
at tat point of time, i was really, really down.
in the face of others, i smile, i laugh, i joke. but nbdy knew, how lost i felt. how lonely.
but i was quick to realise tat it's pointless if all i do was fuss over tat and din't make any effort to find alternatives.
so i did. i picked myself up, assuring tat everytin's gonna be fine.
and now, i got myself a job.
i'm grateful. i noe, the complications of life wud not juz end here.
it'll go on and on and on... like a ferris-wheel.
tis is sumtin' tat everybody have to go thru.

btw, i'm gonna wear tat long, big graduation gown tmw.
hehehe. i'll look very drowned!!! hahahaha.
gee. i can't imagine myself on the stage.
truthfully, rite now, i'm in no mood to tin' bout grad.
watever lah syahida.
oh, i bought tis chinese ring for a healthy life. ;P

slowly understanding who's who.
and i tin' i noe who...

2007-06-20T23:37:00.000+08:00

For you,

(click to enlarge)

Happy Belated Father's Day.

2007-06-20T22:36:00.000+08:00

it hurts but i need to remind myself tis several times-
u r juz a fren whom i've met in my previous workin' place...
u r juz a fren who confides in me regardin ur probs...
u r juz a fren whom at times, i'm comfortable talkin' to...
u r indeed juz a fren...
thx ALOT fren.

well, as the sayin' goes, "a fren in need is a fren indeed."

2007-06-19T01:07:00.000+08:00

ya Allah...
sigh... i feel really down...
='(
i need opinions.

2007-06-14T10:39:00.000+08:00

1. Start Time: 1040
2. Name: Nur Syahida
3. Nickname: Princess!!! hahaha..
4. Astrology sign: Virgo
5. Gender: Female
7. Hair color: black but dyed brown
8. Eye color: dark brown i guess..
9. Height: 1.53 and i'm lurvin' it!
10. Most Favorite color: dunno.. royal purple and golden yellow?
11. Glasses: at times
13. tattoos: no, no, no....
14. Birthplace: KKH S'pore
15. Area code: oi, wanna rob my house ah?
16. TRUEfriends: not sure.. wat is a TRUE fren huh? hmm..

******HAVE YOU EVER*****
17. cut your own hair? : uhuh.. hehe. nurul taught me!!!
18. Done something in the past and
regretted it?: yeah, but no use to regret. it's over..
19. Have you ever met someone you were
not supposed to? : yeap..
21. Skipped school? : yeap.. poly life. GOD, i miss those times...
22. Bungee jumped? : lurve to try! but i'm scared..
24. Punched someone?: haha.. yup but juz frenly punch.
25. Cheated on someone? : have i eva? no lah...
26. Been arrested? : nopey...
27. Broken into someone's house? : hahaha. can u imagine me doin tat? hahaha....
28. Been to a funeral? : yeah.... =(
32. Used a lighter? : no way! i'm scared to play wit fire!!!!

*****FAVORITE*****
34. Season: Autumn? wen all the leaves are fallin... actually, depends on my mood.
36. Ice cream flavor: phish food by Ben & Jerry's. got fish bones.. cute!
37. School subject(s): Arts and Malay..
38. Candy: anytin'..
39. Breakfast: Big Breakfast..
40. Drink : Milo...
41. Magazine(s): Cleo!!!
42. Movie(s): Because I said so? hmm.. yeah.
43. Song(s): alot...
50. Letter(s): haha... wat if i ask u bck, wat's ur fav letter?
51. Favorite fast food
restaurant : Long John's!!!
52. Disney Princess: Cinderella..
53. TV station: MTV, Disney Channel and Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick.. Nickelodeon!
54. Name for a son: prince =P
55. Name for a daughter: princess. HHHHAHAHA. kiddin'.

******DO YOU PREFER*****
56. Chocolate or Vanilla? : Choco!!!
57. Alcoholic or not? : nopeeeeeee.......
60. Scary movies or
comedies? : Scary.
61. Short or long hair? : short for guys.. long for gurls.
62. Croutons or bacon bits? : none.

******FIRST THINGS THAT COME TO
MIND******
64. Mexicans in general: moustache!!! hahahahahaha. (watch oceans 13! n u'll noe..)
65. School: i miss my frens.... =(
66. Grass: green tea?
67. Cow: black and white spots.
68. Canada: got snow or not?
69. Mouse: Gloria! my poly schoolmate!!! teehee..
70. Hands: pain. haha. tat's wat came 1st in my mind.

******THE PAST 3 DAYS, HAVE YOU******
71. Watched a movie? : yeappp..
72. Talked on the phone?: uhuh...
73. Cried? : yes...
74. Choked?: hehe.. no. but make pple choke, yes.
75. Drank a glass of water? : duh.
76. Done Drugs? : haha.. no lah..
77. Read a book or magazine? : Weddin' mags.. sis's gonna get married soon. =)
78. Watched TV? : ya lah...
79. Looked in the mirror? : tat is a must!
80. Taken a shower? : hahaha... Y-E-S!
81. Taken a picture? : erm, no.
82. Listened to music? : i'm listenin..
83. Kissed someone? : tat nauty but cute but nauty but cute baby we looked after.
84. Told someone you liked them: did i?
85. End time: 1106

2007-06-08T02:13:00.000+08:00

i can't sleep..
and tmw i'd have to wake up early to go for my uniform fitting.
but i still am unsure of which job to take..
CGH, SGH or Renal Dialysis Centre.
urh........
anw, sumbdy juz told me bout his life..
yeah, life is complicated..
I'm really awed at how strong he is.
managed to go thru life tho how complex it is...

gosh.
sumtin' scary juz happened.
i shall not post it here..
k lah.. gtg. gonna ctnue my story nxt time.
muahs.

2007-05-31T00:01:00.000+08:00

WHY ME????
WHY????????????????????????????????????
I HATE LIFE............................................

God, please help me find a way thru.
give me strength to carry on...

2007-05-28T17:24:00.000+08:00

okie pple here are sum of the sentosa pics...
we're on the bus... to sentosa.. weeeeee
frm top left, clockwise: Choy Fung, Aidah, Wine, Rollette.

waitin for the ride to siloso beach...

well, since it's rainin'
we went to underwater world 1st!!!

ok... tis is the last pic we took.
n finally, went home ard 7 plus.
oh, see pinocchio's nose?
i broke it.. teehee. sorry pino.

and so.. tat was it. our trip to sentosa on Tues.

Wednesday went back to work again.
den went home at 11 plus.
later, Aidah msged and confirmed tat we're gonna send both my colleagues off at the airport.
i was sooooooo not prepared.
i tot it was juz empty words. hehehehe.

okie here goes the story of my really packed day- Thursday 24/5

4a.m- Aidah called to wake me up.. but i was still in my dreamland.
4:20a.m- forced myself to get up
den at 5 am- both Aidah and Debbie was already waitin' in a cab for me.
u can't imagine how tired and sleepy i was!!!

Tat's Rollette on my left and Wine on my right.
i look so pale w/o make-up. urgh.

here' our grp pic. sweet.

they're waitin' for their turn to check in.

last farewell to 'em.

7a.m plus- after sending them off, we headed to raffles city.
took bus no. 36 there.

tat's Kent behind.
followed by Debbie on the left and Aidah on the right.

Alvin sleeping. muz be really darn tired i guess.

Sham on the left and Remie on the right.

tis crazy fella is Lorna. haha.

n this person, Sham claims tat she is his "colleague".
it's ok if u dun understand. it's our own lil joke.

Later, reached Raffles and eat at Ya Kun's.
i guess, tat was gonna be my 1st n last time eatin' there.
not gonna comment much on the food tho. heeehs.
yeah i'm a fussy eater.

last pic i took. haha. i told her to pose wit tat tin'.
hehehe. yes we're childish but cute. muahahahaha.

11 a.m- went home and continued my sleep. (yaaaaawn)

12 noon plus, plus- had to go for a talk by SGH at GV Great World. they later gave us free tics wit free seatings to watch Pirates of The Carribean- At World's End.
i sooo dun understand.
not only me. Jannah also.
huahuahuha. ehy, i dint watch part 1 and part 2 ohkay.
so u guys hv to pardon me.

6p.m- show ended.

7p.m to 10p.m plus- Jannah, Lydia and me went to meet Nurul and her fren at Bugis.
Tot of relaxing at tis 'hot' spot of ours but there are sum construction goin on there.
so we decided to head down to esplanade.
there, we star gazed, joked and form unusual pics of the clouds.
it was nice and dunno wen will be the nxt time we'll be there.
soon, everybdy starts to feel hungry.
well, except me. which i dunno y.
we ate at the new makan place near esplanade there. not bad.
but quite ex.
cheese prata for 4 bucks! 2 plain prata for 4 bucks also!
there, i told u so....

11p.m plus- mum called tellin' me tat we're goin' out to celebrate my bro's bdae.
eat steamboat. got back home to meet my family members before goin' there together.
i was already full frm the cheese prata so i refused to eat.
aiyah, i noe, i noe. pple all eatin' xcept for me.
i spoiled the fun. i always spoiled the fun. =(

dun comment pls. i noe, i noe tat i look retarded.

2a.m- at last!!! home sweet home.

3a.m- sleeeeeeeepppppp.........

imagine- 4 am to 3 am the followin' day.
the whole day i was out.
sheeesh. den woke up again at 8 am to get myself ready for work.
goooodneeessss! my energy was really sucked out.

okie-dokie. tat's all i've got for now.
mmmuahs. mmmuahs. mmmuahs.
toodles.

can sweet words be trusted? i wonder...

2007-05-22T22:02:00.000+08:00

Juz got back frm sentosa juz now wit my colleagues.
goodness, swimmin' always drains me out.
i'm so, so, so, exhausted.
coz i've been workin' like one mad gurl four days back.
FULL shift. 10 till midnite++.
and finally today...
wat time is it?
it's syahida's rest time!!!!

alot had happened at my workplace..
hmm. fri- 18th May was really mad.
we had sum member sales goin' on.
and as usual the store was packed wit kiasu beings.
it's juz the 1st day but my body aches EVERYWHERE.

on Sat- 19th May, was scary and hectic and urgh, it's undescribable.
while i was bout to sit down in the store room,
i placed my hands on the floor.
den suddenly, i felt a sharp prick on the palm of my right hand.
(ohkay pple, tis is no horror made-up stories. it's real)
guess wat i saw?
a red ant had bitten my hand?
guess quick...
hmm... give up?
i saw a pin, bout the length of a safety pin and slightly wider den it IN my hands.
it poked my hand. yes, the WHOLE pin was in my hand.
i was shocked. i dunno wat to do so i showed it to faj, my colleague.

me: Faj, help me take it out.
Faj: eee, eee, eew. dun want ah. eee. eee. eew. (turns head away.)

i dint realise tat it was quit deep until she reacted tat way.
den my naggy nursing fren cum retail colleague, Choy Fung saw too and..

Choy Fung: Take out lah. aiyah juz pull it. (sits beside Faj wit sincere intention of helping me but i guess she's lazy. hahaha.)
me: I dun want. I scared ar.... (obviously, after Faj's remark i started to feel afraid.)
Choy Fung: (still sitted at the same position "wit sincere intention bla bla bla...") go quick get sum gauze or tissue paper to stop the blood. go wash ur hands. quick.

ok, so i went straight to the pantry and showed my hands to the pple there.
my colleagues assured and reassured and reassured n ctnue reassuring me to take it out.

it will be painful but u have to take it out. (tis makes me more terrified.)

u want to brin' tis back and show ur mum ah? (haha. i'm in pain but u guys joke ard. nonetheless, it's funny.)

it's gonna be quick juz relax.

n FINALLY, wen the sharp pain slowly went up from my palm to my arms,
n wen i try to fight back my tears,
my colleague took it out.
THANKS ROLLETTE!!!!!
it was so quick and painless.
actually, the more i delay, the more the pain escalates.
Thank you pple for ur assurance. =)
and showing care for me. i'm touched. (awwwwww.)
oh ya, i've got burnt colgate marks on my face.
yes, stupid and rather foolish attempt to rid of pimples.
(i've got break-outs u see.)
and now, i'm known as 'the colgate gurl.'
so tat was Sat.

Sun- 20th May was confusing.
well, i'm one blur queen here.
i ate my fren's food tinkin' tat it was mine.
hahahaha.
sorry Faj. my mistake.
i'll promise ~~not~~ to do it again ok.
heeeehs. (grins apologetically.)

Mon- 21st May was heartbreaking Part one.
it was their last day attached in singapore-
my 2 wonderful n beloved colleagues frm Phillipines.
Rollette and Wine.

i'm really, really, really gonna miss u guys sooooo much!!!!
urgh. work wud surely be dull now.
no more manika ng mangkukulam.
no more panget. no more balieu. no more baboy.
="'(
do keep in touch ok. mmmmuaahsss.

so yeah. Tues. today. Tues. today. hahaha.
22nd May- heartbreaking Part two.
woke up today wit swollen leg. infection mayb.
i almost cudnt walk. but i forced myself to and ta-da. i managed to walk!!!!
went out wit my 2 beloved colleagues, Rollete, Wine and 3 others.
Choy Fung, Joyce and Aida to sentosa as said earlier.
it's quite a blast but soon, we are all soooooo tired.
coz we've all worked full shift the previous day.
to add to it, we did
swimming, volleyballing, 'monkeying', gossiping, and sooo much more.
anyway u guys shud go to the"LOUGE" at Sentosa. highly recommended.
best of the best u noe.
yeah tat was all bout it.
toodles and mmmmuaaahsmmmuuaaahhs lovelies.

highly emotional- can u sprinkle sum dust of happiness in me?

2007-05-13T01:07:00.000+08:00

Guess wat???!!!!
I fell down at work juz now..
teeheehee.
sooooooooo scary.
it all happens so fast.
i stepped on the chair to put up sum stocks and "arrrrgggh!!!!!!!!!!"
later, my leg was doin' the splits.
and my 2 colleagues saved my day by supportin' me frm behind and frm the side.
Thx Joyce and Sham.
if not for both of u, i might land in the hospital by now.
mayb i cud even have fractured my limbs.
u guys r my superhero. (awwww. *pukes blood*)

anw Sham, it's ur fault i fell down.
u sat on the chair before i climbed up.
see, all ur fault.
hahaha. no offence. i'm kidding only.
but u guys bullied me after tat!
u told EVERYbody how i fell.
i was damn embarassed u noe.
hmph, i hate u guys.

well, life hadn't been goin' too well for me.
i'm still in my confusion state.
urgh. why muz it always be me???
=''(
GOD, help me....
mmuahs pple.

hopefully, juz hopefully i've strangth to carry on...

2007-05-07T15:14:00.000+08:00

tis is funny.
read on.
a real-life experience.
between me, and a customer.

customer: do u have any dress?

blur me: for ladies?

hahaha. i told u guys. i'm sick.
sick in the brain.
hehe.

yeah, i've found and eaten tat choco waffles from Prima Deli

2007-05-07T14:04:00.000+08:00

I'm not feelin' well for these few daes.

fact is, from last week.
i'm down wit flu.
urgh......
my head is throbbing in pain.
my throat feels sore..
n my body feels so heaty inside.
i hate bein' sick.
i can't sleep well, i'm so moody and all.
but i have to recover before tmw.
wanna go out wit my frenz.

hmm. lemme update a lil bit on my life.
on the 4th may, PRCP's finally over n yeah!
I passed.... =) here cums graduation.....
i'm soooo glad i made it thru PRCP. phew.
at least, a burden is lifted off me.

5th May as usual, i'm workin'.
and as usual, i'm late.
hey, i'm sick okay... hehe. excuses.
aniwaes, guess wat???
tis very popular Indonesian actor came to our store!
doin' sum retail therapy thingy wit his wife.
i really wanted to take pic wit him but u noe me,
i was sooooo shy!
the rest of my colleagues took pics wit him..
anw, he was lookin' at my direction wen he's paying the stuffs.
hahahahahha. perasan...
u noe who he is?
Gunawan or better known as Arman in the TV series, Hikmah.

so tat's basically the highlight for saturday.

on sun, 6th may,
went to Marina Square to celebrate my fren's bdae.

the bdae gurl's name, is Didilia. =P. no lah, it's Lydia.
here she is...

HAPPY BELATED 20th BDAE DIDILIA!!!!
tis is juz the beginnin of life.
dun give up on it for sumtin sooo stupid.
there are many pple out there who wud gladly want to live ur life.
u still have both parents wit u.
and ur family looks kinda stable, financial wise.
i'm pretty sure ur parents care so much bout u.
there are many colors tat u've yet to add in ur life.
so do it now.
grab all the unlimited editions only in....
7-eleven it's a store and more!
hahahahaha. crap.
seriously,
may u found joy in ur future ahead.
and may GOD bless u...
take care.

so let's ctnue.
we ate at Pizza Huts but i kinda feel so uneasy.
so restless. i dun even feel like goin' out matter of fact.
but no, it's my fren's bdae n i shud celebrate together.
see how sweet i can be. hehe.

after tat lip-smacking-but-idunhavethemood meal,
Kak Su headed to her bf's crib whilst all 4 of us walked our way to esplanade.
but there's tis so idioticlyirritating monster who sat opposite us and kept staring towards our direction.
he was practically feasting his eyes on us.
nincompoop jerk.
worst still, we got up to the ladies after sittin' there for an hour.
n he followed us!!! standing near the directory as if he can blend well wit it.
urgh. stalker.
den we walked slowly towards city link n he STILL followed.
we stopped. he stopped.
stared at him. he stared back.
I was soooo pissed! all of us felt like confronting him.
but we dun wanna create a commotion.
even felt like telling the security but wat proof do we have???
den we thought he was gone wen we went up the escalator to raffles city.
but, he came up the escalator too!!!!!
we waited for a few minutes there and thought that he will go off.
wen we lost sight of him, we decided to go home.
we felt it was safe until we saw him hiding in the corner, still waiting.
by den, i really wanted to inform the security if he still tagged along.
insane freak. notin' better to do.
mad stalker.

yeah, tat's all for now.
still feelin' rather sickly.
all i want now is my comfy pillow, bolster and my comforter.
oh, i need pepsi too.
pepsi=caffeine=less headache wen having fever.
tat's "Syahida's theory".
u'll cum by it sumdae in ur life.
toodles pple.
no kisses todae.u'll catch my flu.

ALMOST everytin' looks black and white.
and ALMOST everytin' feels bitter.

2007-04-24T18:32:00.000+08:00

it still hurts!
my tummy.
i'm still havin cramps.
bleargh!
i feel so bloated.

FYI, tat pic above, i drew it myself.
hehehehehe.

anw, i've been craving for chocos these past few weeks
i even ate chocos as early as 6 am!
let me list down those choco's tat i've gobbled down-

tis 13 bucks worth choco at a certain mall. containin only 6 pieces of various choco flavours. such as, dark, white, semi-sweet, orange flavoured choco
2 bars of crunchy kit kats
3 double choco doughnuts from the doughnut factory
4 of 7-eleven mini choco-rice doughnuts
2 bars of hershey's white choco
1 packet of choco hello pandas
1 packet of pocky choco
3 bars of ritter sports'- biscuit, corn & hazelnut all in choco flavour
1 yan yan biscuit + choco
choco drink

all these after my diet.
shit.
i crashed my diet.
now i guess, i've gained weight.
no more nicole richie me den.
more like nichocs poorie.
coz i really did indulge myself in chocos.

.choco.choco.choco.choco.choco.

and i still want tat choco waffles from prima deli.

2007-04-23T18:22:00.000+08:00

urgh...
i
hate
tummy ache.
yes,
i
really
do.

2007-04-20T22:27:00.000+08:00

2007-04-19T20:36:00.000+08:00

Hey Jannah.. ur tag is very touching u noe..
yeah.. i miss those times wen we sit around together n juz blab watever nonsense.
those times were great tho i'm really not a fan of nonsensical-waste-my-time talks.
tat was y i rarely go out wit u guys after school.
anw, i'm always like this soooooooo very tired person.
and tat is another reason y i refused to stay out after school.
hey, i'm tis diseased girl rmmbr?
if u noe wat i mean.

but....
seriously. i need sumbdy to confide my life in rite now.
and i juz realised tat upon readin' the tag.
i miss u guys!
a lil sincere sumtin' for u guys..

it practically describes us rite?

i guess, we, the powerpuff girls-
nurul-bubbles; jannah-blossoms; syahida-buttercup
will unite again to fight crimes and save the day!
hahahahahha. childishly crap. watever tat means.
but we will meet up okie.
and we'll queue for those lurvely round, soft thingy called, "doughnut."
sorry i queued the other day without u precious bunch.
(oh great, now i'm cravin' for those doughnuts.)
hmm, wait. where does lydia fit in? mojo jojo can? =P

hahaha. my mum is funny.
noe wat she juz asked me?

mum: "syahida, ader stapler?"

me: takde.

mum: mane stapler-stapler ni sumer? mak belikan sorang satu pun hilang.

me: biler mase mak belikan?

mum: dulu, time korang primary school.

hehehehe. it tickled me to the bone. i repeat to the bone.
haha. lame.
i meant me, not my mum ok. =)

okie pple. i'll end here. till nxt time. toodles & mmuahs...

how i wish..
tat we'll have limitless laughs...
countless memories...
& endless friendship...

2007-04-17T18:33:00.001+08:00

2007-04-17T17:23:00.000+08:00

this is cute....

and so is this...

and this....

hahaha....

anw, these pics cheers me up.
haha. gonna go for my 2nd nite shift today.
n how was yesterday nite?
real busy plus tiring and soon, it gets real sleepy....
yaaaawnnnnn..
i've to manage 6 female patients.
wit it, a new admission, and a pre-operation and post-operation management.
which means, chaos!
all along i tot nite shift was better.
but i guess, it all depends on luck.
well, hopefully i've all the luck today.
no admissions, no nite operations, no call bells.
juz a quiet, peaceful nite to write my report in.
yeah.. i'm always full of hopes. so unreal. so me.

....
noe wat?....
i've always had these feelings tat i have no life ahead.
tat i have a short life..
coz i'm afraid of lookin' into the future.
the process of goin' thru most of everytin' again.
and again..
people in and out of ur life.
blah. blah. blah.
have you ever tot bout tat?
i'll give an example.
i'm 20 tis year and to reach 40 years old, i've to go thru 20 years again.
it's freaky rite?
mayb not to u.

okie.
have to get myself ready for work.
toodles and mmuahs to all.

2007-04-14T00:01:00.000+08:00

hey u, happy bdae!!!
may u be showered wit lots of happiness n lurve in the world.
God Bless & world peace.
hahaha.

i'm still unsure myself...
juz gimme time k...
argh... i'm confused.
yet again. n again. again....
wen will tis ever ends???....
i hate myself for bein' so fickle.

as usual. i'll be workin' tmw.
still hv to purchase sum stuffs for pple.
n hv to brin' sum stuffs to work as well.
really no mood to work... urgh.

n darn!!!! i hadn't ring NIE regarding the EBT thingy.
it's like a sooooo urgent matter but look at me,
i dint even hv the cheek to bother.
i'm so freaked-out.
wat if they rejected my application????
how??? no future for me den, i guess.
well, hopefully, hopefully, there is.
u guys, pray for me okies...

oh ya. anw, my last exam results was way better den the previous results.
so far it's the best.
i tried to give my all in it.

============
HS3034- C+
HS3076- B
HS3077- B
============

but i feel, wat i gave wasn't enuff.
i tin' i cud hv done better if i had not studied last minute.
if only my results are good for the whole 3 yrs in poly.
it would facilitate my apllication.
if only......
tsk, tsk... syahida, syahida.....
oh yeah. almost forgot to send my current results.
shittiness. one more task to settle.

ok lah. till here.
toodles cuties.

i'm sooo drained & empty. recharge me.

2007-04-06T10:42:00.000+08:00

yeahness! c'mon let's celebrate the revival of my comp!
hahahaa..

a lil update regarding my last clinical attachmts, PRCP.
Thk GOD these 2 wks went well. Still have 4 weeks to pull thru.
Hopefully, I cud, hopefully...
Cudn't wait for my night shifts which wud be on the 16th & 17th April.
I wanna noe how it feels like to 'camp' in the ward.
haha. btw, exam results will be out on the 10th pple!
check it out okies...

sigh... i've sooo many things to settle-
no. 1) i haven't applied for my EBT test yet. shit.
i dunno whether NIE wud approve my applicatn form.
n i dint even call 'em... i tin' i shud. later?

no. 2) i've to purchase sum items for my bro n my frenz at my workplace.

no. 3) i'm stucked wit my beginners for my car licence. dunno wen i'm gonna proceed wit the FTT.

no. 4) urgh... i guess that's that many tins that i've to settle. hehe. but that many things i've to settle are really important ok..

well, last Sun went out wit my lurvely bunch to celebrate Jannah's bdae.
I tot i was late coz i usually make it with the 'Grand Entrance'. but, no.
those monkies were late & surprisingly, i'm early!
Met Kak Su & Abg Amat ard 5:30 near the fountain at Bugis, opposite Topshop, next to the pushcart, beside the lady in black behind the geek in the pink. hahahahaha. crap.
we went in the restaurant 1st whilst waitin' for the rest.
to cut the story short, after eatin', singin' bdae song, cuttin' of bdae cake & opening up of presents.. we decided to watch movie.
by that time, it was 8 plus.
Kak Su and Abg Amat proceeded home as Abg Amat's workin' the followin' day.

So, the 4 of us, continued on, stomach really, really bloated.
i so feel like vomitting that day.
Took the train n headed to Marina Square.

-------------------------------------------------
|| movie title: Because I said so.
|| movie starts: 9:30pm.
|| main character: Mandy Moore as Milly.
-------------------------------------------------
review: Tis movie tat we watch is a muz watch!
tho it's quit slow, draggy and all.. dun miss it!
it's best for peeps wit inner romanticness.
go n catch it quick!
-------------------------------------------------

by the time the movie ends it was already 11:30.
i'm dead meat. i haven't topped up my bro's n mum's ez-link yet.
but thkfully, everything settled after some panick moments.
thx fwenz. u guys are the best.

walked out to the place opposite peninsular and hailed for a cab there.
we waited, n waited n waited...
no single cab stopped. even wen they're not hired, they went pass us.
i guess they'll only take us aboard for the midnite charge.
so bad of 'em..

at last, we got a cab!
and that was also after midnite...
n the story ends there.
coz i got home, washed up n sleep... zzz.

n jan!
happy belated 20th bdae to u!
hahaha... welcum to the 'old' world.
no more 'teen' for u.
noe sumtin'? i'm still nineteen! hahahahaha.
syahida's here wishin' u gd luck for everytin' u do!
May u be blessed wit all the happiness n lurve in the world!
lurve ya gurlfren!

peace out pple.

2007-03-23T18:59:00.000+08:00

huahuahua..
see, i got hold of another comp.
how lucky am i..

aniwaes... i tin' it's gonna rain out there..
wat a romantic evening. haha.

okie pple..
since i'm not at home,
i only hv one pic here.
my class farewell party...

frm the left: jannah, nurul, me & kak su.

syahida's gonna miss all my frens in nursin' grp 32...
dun forget me okie pple... syahida, the adorable.
hahaha... i'm crappin'.
okie lah told u b4, i prefer to blog at home.
so till den, toodles.

iwish to stand beneath the tears of the cloud...
cum join me.

2007-03-12T16:40:00.000+08:00

Dearest comp has gone haywire.

so for the meantime i cudnt get to update tis bloggie.

darn... weneva i wanna blog, sumtin always hinders me.

n how the heck do i manage to type in it now?

well of coz, i'm at sum place which has comp rite.. haiyoh.

there r so many tins tat i wanna blog rite now.

but i juz dun hv the mood.

coz i dunno which cums 1st.

it's all jumbled up crazily in my head.

Class farewell party lah, Kak Su's Sis's weddin' lah...

ohkay-ohkay. i admit.

so far i've only managed to tin' bout 2 events tat i wanna blog 'bout.

but there r soooo many details in it.

n there r soooo many details followin' it.

to type in all the details rite now is really not a good idea.

i prefer bloggin' in the comfort of my own home.

tat is wen all my inspiration cums. ceh.....

oops. see i've told u.

"Ugly betty" has juz popped in my head.

suddenly, i feel like bloggin' bout tat tv series.

oh no... now, it's the "Dance floor."

smbdy, anybdy!!! help syahida!!!

k stop. i'm insane i noe.

bloggin' ctnues till later wen i grab hold of another comp.

toodles pple.

muahs, muahs. get well soon dearest comp. =)

2007-02-15T22:47:00.000+08:00

oh ya.. to Kak Ima, Kak Jijah n the rest of my blog viewers...

tis is why i nd face treatment.

ACCCCKS!!!! ACNE SCARS!!!!

pigmentation n scars kills big time.

2007-02-15T20:45:00.000+08:00

double chocalate... yummy!
i actually queued for the doughnuts at the doughnut factory, raffles city.
rite after my attachment.
n it took me nearly 4 darn hours to get the doughnut.
feets aching and all.
but watever.

i reckon those who havent try, to try it!
especially MY double chocolate. hees.
the dark chocolate fillings tat oozes out made me 'smack that'.

n to talk bout dietin' previously...
hahaha.. syahida, syahida.

oh ya, i spent 20 bucks on 2 books at MPH.
10 bucks each, on impulse.

it's worth buyin' tho. i'm definitely satisfied. =)

I JUZ LURVE BOOKS!

i love you books! haha.
n tat was how i celebrated my valentines.
'dating' my books.
no, more like dating the 'ahpeks' n 'nyonyas' in the hospital.
coz i'm on afternoon shift during valentines.
sheesh...

anw, my cuzzie won the blogtv thingy.
kudos to u.
if i'm not wrong they held tis contest in conjunction wit 'v' day.
and it was aired on CNA. sweet.
haha, she's funny. the whole interview is funny.
Kak Lisa, yup, u look fat. no, it's horizontally challenged.
hehehehehehe. sorry.
cheeseburgers, french fries... =P
dunno y the 'Flying Dutchman' can tolerate ur bdae cake nonsense.
haha. no lah, it's actually creatively romantic.
singlishly, "vely lomantic."
two thumbs up.

hmmm.. attchment is progressing well.
hope notin' happens.
i wanna maximise n apply the skills learnt.
i'd have to prepare myself physically n mentally for the comin' PRCP.
PRCP i s a 6 wks attachment at a particular ward.
tis will later determine if we cud graduate frm the Dip in Nursin'.

gua banyak stress tau.. lu apa tahu..
aiyoh, banyak-banyak penat.

ohkay. now back to my dieting.
so much for my resolution.
so much for bettin' wit nurul tat i'm gonna shoo my 5kg away.
i gained more n more weight each day.
watever i wear, it looks tight.
even my nursin' uniform.
damn!!!!!!!
urgh...... how????
i'm gonna hv a pouch growin' on my tummy soon.
help! i'm gonna becum a kangaroo!!!
i'm too tired to exercise.
n if i dun eat, i wud feel really, really weak.
my 'hypo' state as i always say.
cold sweats will form. n my hands will start to shiver.
like an addict.
thx to my colleagues n frens who always forces me to eat.
i'm now officially addicted to food.
btw, i'm not like tis till my 1st yr, 2nd sem in poly.
i rmmbr how flat my tummy used to be.
even wen i sit down, i'm tummyfats-free.
how i wish i dint listen to 'em.
i wudnt have to worry now.

nevermind, i'm gonna resume my healthy habits tis one wk break.
gonna exercise!!! gonna diet!!!
sumbdy, support me!!!!!!!
Go Syahida Go! Do Syahida Do IT!

E to the X

to the E

to the R

to the C

to the I

to the S

to the E.

wats tat spell?

EXERCISE.

wats tat spell????

EXERCISE!!!!!!!

i need me to discipline myself.

boost me.

2007-02-12T01:22:00.000+08:00

it's 1:26 am in the mornin'...
ya. i noe i'm s'possed to be asleep now..
gonna have attachment later at 8 am.
i'm juz darn lazy to go... darn lazy. sigh...
no mood also..
plus, i got back from work and reached home around 12 juz now.

sigh.. dunno wat happened to me.
even at work i felt moodless.
dun even have the mood to proceed wit my job...

i'm undergoin diet.
my weight gain now contradicts my resolution.
i've gained 2 kg. n now.. ta da, i'm 47kg.
n i'm in tis process of creatin' an unsightly monster tummy.
really unsightly.
"be gone tummy, be gone!"
but i felt really drained out..
mayb tis dietin contributes to tis unpredictable feelins of mine.
sorry to whoeva i've treated 'coldly'.
my mood swing, u see..
blame my weight for causing me to diet.
blame my diet for causing me to have mood swings..

k lah. wanna go "bobok".
toodles to all.

gd nite, sleep tite, sweet dreams..... ;P
dun let the bed bugs bite.

2007-01-11T19:56:00.000+08:00

juz went poo-poo juz now. there's tis wierd tin' goin on.

wenever i switch on the comp, butterflies will start to form in my stomach. soon, i will feel the tummy ache due to peristalsis. and later, the urge to poo, EVERYTIME. hahahaha. ok. ctnue.

Ah!!!!!!!!! No!!!!!!!!!!!!

i may be a lil bit outdated but who cares? I'm gonna announced tis-

Reese Witherspoon & Ryan Phillippe was officially divorced! this was taken from a website, "they, were married for 7 years and 4 months & blessed with two children, Ava, 7, and Deacon, 3.

On November 8, Reese Witherspoon filed for divorce from actor Ryan Phillippe in Los Angeles Superior Court. The Academy Award winning actress cited “irreconcilable differences” as the reason for the dissolution of her marriage."

sigh... they're one of the cutest hollywood couples i've seen. they look so compatible together.... like barbie & ken.. haha. mayb i'm exaggerating a bit. anw, they were even given an award as 'Hollywood's most solid couple'.

k, a lil bit bout reese witherspon...

Birth name- Laura Jeanne Reese Witherspoon
Born- March 22, 1976 (age 30)
New Orleans, Louisiana, USA
Height- 5'2" (1.57 m)

hahahaha... seee she's also almost my height...

and a lil bit bout ryan phillippe...

Born- September 10, 1974, in New Castle, DE, rose from obscurity to become one of the most talked-about actors of his generation, attracting at first numerous admirers of his good looks, and later fans of risk-taking performers.

and here are sum sweet pics....

they're sooooooo sweeeet right...

oh ya, i noe sum of u has read thru my resolutions for 2007...

my unrealistic reasolutions....

i actually made tat up as a guideline.

so, it doesnt means tat i'd really have to follow.

muahahahahahahaha.

lazy syahida.

toodles-oodles.

sumtin to do is better den juz lazing around. always.

2007-01-07T02:24:00.000+08:00

ola!

juz got back frm chalet at pasir ris.

it's fun but it's sad coz i cudnt get to stay overnight.

sigh......

juz stayed there for a few hours after work and had to go home already.

fyi, work ends at 11 by den so we reached the chalet at 12.

so unfair rite. only spend a few hours there.

i shud have went over on fri eve.

haiyah.

wat to do.

me cinderella mah....

huahuahuahuahua........

there, we played heart attack, police & thief & tis 'soccer' game.

actually they wanted to play passin' parcel wit the forfeits but me & fudge had to go off.

poor me.

anw, we saw a police car outside our bungalow.

mayb the residents nearby lodge a complaint on us...

coz mayb we're high above the normal volume.

watever......

k lah. i'm soooooooooo sleepy now....

yawn......

n to fudge, be patient. coz patience' earn u trust which ultimately leads to freedom.

dun do anytin' stoopid k.

2007-01-04T22:17:00.000+08:00

i lurve tis jessica simpson song.....

anw, gonna watch prison break...

can't miss it. for those who had neva watch tis great tv series go watch it!!!!

the hero is cute- wenworth miller or michael scofield.=)

PRISON BREAK Michael Scofield (Wentworth Miller) is a desperate man in a desperate situation. His brother, Lincoln Burrows, is on death row and scheduled to die in a few months for a murder Michael is convinced Lincoln did not commit. With no other options and time winding down, Michael holds up a bank to get himself incarcerated alongside his brother in Fox River State Penitentiary - intent on breaking both of them out.

toodles.

2007-01-03T21:51:00.000+08:00

All American Kid

Popular but not plastic. Athletic but not a jock. Smart but not a brain.
You were well rounded and well liked in high school.

Who Were You In High School?

You Are Spider-Man

Quick and agile, you have killer instincts (literally).

And that kind of makes up for the whole creepy spider thing.

What Superhero Are You?

yeah... i'm spidey.. muahahahaha

You Are 82% Perfectionist

You're a total perfectionist. So go ahead and congratulate yourself on a "perfect" score.

The truth is, everyone is sick of living up to your standards. And you're probably even sick them yourself.

Are You a Perfectionist?

2007-01-02T01:19:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR PPLE!!!!!!
HAPPY 2007!!!!

let's try to start afresh!!!
anw, these are my new year's resolution-

spend 2 bucks maximum per wkdays. (so tat i can limit myself to 10 bucks per 5 days.)
spend 5 bucks max per wkends due to work. (i dun wanna feel hypo again. tat means, i can only spend 20 bucks max per wk. which ultimately means, 80 bucks per month for food minus the train concession. blearghhhh.)

avoid taxis! (muz not take cab wen late for skewl. muz be early.)

save, save, save!!! (by doin' the above no. 1, 2 & 3, i can save up my money for other stuffs. i hope i can. i'll try. blearghhhh again.)

slim down! (n wen i save up, i'll have less to consume each day. in tis way, indirectly, i can diet!!!!!! woooohoooo..... i wanna reach my ideal weight- 38kg.)
be more active. (i miss the past. i wanna be more active. doin' loads of outdoor activities. if not, den juz go joggin' will do. can help me lose the xtra pounds. (= )

learn how to prioritise my time. (tis is indeed crucial. i muz learn how to plan my time properly.)

can't be late for skewl.

okie pple. these are sum resolutions which i can tin' of at the moment. i hope i can stick to it. i really hope so....

well, wat happened on 1st jan 2007?

popped by my cuzzie's hse to see her 3 lil boys- alvin, simon & theodore. haha.
lil cuties, aunty miss u guys sooooooo much... (awwwwww..)
anw, actually wanted to brin' the 2nd one out, but he fell asleep soon after we reach there.
if u guys hv been wonderin' who these cuties are, lemme the adorable aunty show u....

tis is faezin a.k.a simon. the eldest one.

tis naughty lookin' fella is fitri a.k.a alvin.

n tis youngest one is farihin a.k.a theodore.

aren't tis 3 musketeers sooooooooo adorable???? juz like their aunt. =P

Kak lisa, one day i shall kidnap all these 3 kids!!! muahahahahahahaha (evil tone.) u noe how? i'll use the "galah" or the bamboo stick n get 'em thru the windows. i'll put it thru their top. n walla! all 3 will be hangin' there like satays n i shall brin' those satays home. all 3 wit different flavors (fish, chicken, & cow) muahahahaha.

alah... rindu ah............................

k lah, tat's bout all tat i managed to type. it's already 2 plus n i've yet to be asleep. toodles pple.

may GOD bless our days ahead. Amin.

2006-12-28T23:05:00.000+08:00

A MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!

WELL, ANW.. 2007 IS APPROACHIN'!
WAT'S UR RESOLUTION?????

k lah pple... not gonna post much 2day.
Emergency Department is fun.
of coz much better den Operating Theatre.
thk GOD.

hmm, ouh ya. here are the x'mas gifts i get frm my wonderful colleagues!

tis is the christmas xchange gift i rcvd frm my 2nd manager- adelaine.

a friends forever notebook and an album. (BEAR) cute lyke me huh.... =)

each of us have to buy a 15 bucks worth gift for another colleague tat we have picked.

i bought a poccilini wallet- pink color for my colleague- evelyn. (the pic of the stated wallet is not here)

tis is another set of gift also from the same manager.

i wonder y she gave me duck. (DUCK) hahahaha. she's funny.

tis body shop perfume is from jocelyn.

tis purse-like piggy bank is from my close workin' buddy, fudge.

thx fudge!!! it's cuteeee.. oh, i forget to take the forever friends bookmark's pic.

tis mango purse is from my ever so wonderful supervisor, elaine.

and tis hp piggy pouch is frm my 1st manager, ian.

oink. oink. (PIG)

ouh, i hv 3 more gifts actually-

an aromatherapy stuffs frm sham,
a little cute dog notebook from aida (DOG)
and a lurvely winnie the pooh mug frm emerlyn. (BEAR)

wat a day spent collectin' gifts. fuh, tough job.

heees. k lah, i'll update more wen i hv the time.

toodles n thx pple for spendin' money on me, the cute one.

great, now i have ducks, pigs, dogs & bears at home. darn.

2006-12-18T19:18:00.000+08:00

darn sleepy.....

yawn.... but i dun wanna sleep yet....

anw, OT is damn boring. n i do mean DAMN BORING.

especially w/o any close frens ard.

sigh....

i miss my attachment at IMH.

i miss the lurvely patients there...

haiyoh....

hopefully tis OT attachment ends a.s.a.p.

hopefully A&E is better den OT. hopefully.

actually i lost the post bout nurul's bdae celebratn due to net connection probs.

n i wanna type it out again. but not now. sooooooo tired.

i also wanted to type on my IMH postin'.

but as above, i'm sleepy & tired.

oh, as promised, tis is the extensions i got for 20 bucks!

can see? the ash grey color on my right head?

lurve those extensions.

k lah, wanna watch vcd.

pray for me tat tmw wun be as bad as today.

toodles.

yawn.

2006-12-02T23:27:00.000+08:00

i've been feelin' depressed lately.....

small matters may even lower my mood down...

dunno y..

PMS? cudn't be...

sigh.... i've always had mood swings.

n i can't help myself......

anw, yesterday at work melancholia overcums me...

the whole day workin' i juz felt like cryin'..

well, as i've no mood to eat durin' break,

i decided to go to the salon few lvls above my workplace.

i decided to do sum hair extensions.

n i did 2 on my right!!!! n guess wat? it's ash-grey!

woohooo.. tat really brightens my day a bit.

the hairstylist, who is also the manager, gave me another 1 free!!!

gosh.. i'm sooooooooo happy.

i'll show u guys my "streak" if i hv time to post the pic.

k lah toodles-oodles.

2006-11-27T14:20:00.000+08:00

hey... sorry, i din't inform u guys earlier... i'm married. my wedding was held yesterday. i dint have time to invite u pple... it was all in a rush n i'm totally confused on how fast it all happens.. i hope u guys ain't mad or surprised wen u read thru tis msg...

well, dun be! Coz, all tat only happens in my dream... the dream was indeed funny. n messy too.. hehe. there was no 'nikah' n suddenly, i was goin' thru the 'sanding'. weird rite? n addin' to it's weirdness was tat i dun even noe whom i was supposed to be wed to. in my dream, i was sittin' on the pelamin n there was a very big crowd gathering. the groom was sittin' nxt to me but i cudnt capture who he was. anw, he wasnt the main topic in my dream. it was the weddin... sumhow, i felt very excited n elated wen it all happens. however, guilt overcum me as i forget to inform my dearest frens regarding my wedding. n tat was wen the msg above came into the picture. i was typing the msg in my hp wen suddenly i felt vibration on my left.

u guessed it rite. it's actually my hp vibrating. i woke up frm my sleep. nurul called. haiyah... kacau je. i was juz bout to noe wat happens after my big weddin'.
hahaha..... there i told u. it's one funny, unexplainable dream. hahahaha.

2006-11-14T17:53:00.000+08:00

Hahaha... THIS IS indeed amazin'!... look at it.

u SHUD try