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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Saturday, October 16, 2004

Name: Nur Syahida
B'dae: 30 th Auguzt 1987
Horoscope: Virgo
Shelter: Sumwhere over the rainbows... In the sky...
Fav. Color: Yellow & Purple
Fav. Food: Hmm... Let me tin'... BREAD! w/o it, i'll die! haha...
Fav. Drink: RIBENA! MILO! ICE TEA! Nature's 100% pure water!

LAYER ONE:
-- Birthplace: Kandang Kerbau Hosp
-- Eye Color: black...
-- Hair Color: black wif strips of brown...
-- Height: lazt tyme measured was 1.53m...

LAYER TWO:
-- The shoes you wore today: nope... i wore slippers...
-- Your weakness: Very sensitive! emotional... tho i dun look lyke i am... well mayb..
-- Your fears: too many... I'm a scaredy-cat!
-- Your perfect pizza: Plain pizza with xtra cheese + sauce, sprinkled wif parmesan cheese!
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: To be a successful woman in the nxt few years to cum... So tat I cud help those poor peepz out there!

LAYER THREE:
-- Your most overused phrase: RRrruuBBisSH! & "mengarut je.."
-- Your thoughts first waking up: "Oh my Gosh!!! I'm late!"
-- Your bedtime: very much depends...
-- Your most missed memory: My sec skool lyfe(mizz it aloT!)... n the trip to Kusu Island in the Chinese Junk ( Ngee Ann pri)... how i wish i cud turn back tyme.... relive & cherish every wonderful moments...

LAYER FOUR:
-- Love Interest: Not rite now... busy... busy... mayb later?
-- Charachteristics of the opposites: Hmm... of course HUMOUR! Anymore? Yes, but it's 4 me to noe n 4 u to find out... OOooKkIeSs!

LAYER FIVE:
-- Smoke: no way!
-- Sing: The songs which i hate most... haha... no lah..
-- Take a shower everyday: of coz ah! But... I noe u dun.. hehe.. No wonder BUSOK!
-- Do you think you've been in love: maybe? I tin' so.. huh!
-- Want to go to college: Actually wanted to... but den... my marks only "afford" to go to 3 yrs institute(another form of JC)...
-- Like(d) high school: I do... I do... I do...
-- Want to get married: Yelah..
-- Believe in yourself: Well... the real truth is tat sumtymes i dun believe in myself... I've got a LOW, LOW self-confidence...
-- Think you're a health freak: mayb yes... mayb no... What 4 am I in Nursin'?
-- Get along with your parent(s): My mum... My dad passed away..
-- Like thunderstorms: No!!! It'll strait away remind me of my most nostalgic memories..
-- Play an instrument: organ... not human organs! But I wanna learn more songs lah... Preferably on Piano & Guitar..

LAYER SIX: In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: Eh... I tin' u're MAD... Ask non-civilised Qs...
-- Smoked: passively yeah..
-- Done a drug: Panadol?
-- Gone to the mall? Had to werk... no choice..
-- Eaten an entire box of oreos?: Stopped eating those cookies long tyme ago already...
-- Eaten sushi: NO... Aiyoh! see lah... make me feel lyke eatin' sushi..
-- Been on stage: Nopeys...
-- Gone skating: Dunno how to skate lar...

LAYER SEVEN: Ever...
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: GILER ke... TAK BTOL ke... TAK SIUMAN? choose...
-- Been caught "doing something": wat tin'? Be specific puhleeeeeze...
-- Been called a tease: uhuhuhuhuh... hehe
-- Changed who you were to fit in: mayb... din't realise... Sorry guys if I din't act lyke ME!

LAYER EIGHT:
-- Do you hope to be married: Of coz...
-- Number of Children: 2 and a half? haha...
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: It can only be painted in my dreams...
-- How do you want to die: Why u wanna noe? Death... is in GOD's hands...
-- What's your ambition: Teacher!!! But i wanna becum a lecturer... teach nursin'... oooH... how fun it wud be..

LAYER NINE:
-- Drugs taken illegally: Told ya... Panadol... illegally? oh.... y muz tell pple...
-- People I could trust with my life: It's hard 4 me to trust pple... But of coz my loved ones..
-- CDs that I own: Too many ah
-- Tattoos: nopey.. Dun wanna have any...
-- Things in my past that i regret: It's too complicated to describe... How I wish I cud hug my dad n my grandma b4 they left me... But... Oh well... Juz cud pray 4 'em...Y muz my loved ones leave me so soon?

with love, syahida at 10/16/2004 09:25:00 PM

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