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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Saturday, October 16, 2004

hEhE.... hElOOOOOooooo pEePz oUt tHeRe!
hMmM.. hOw dO i sTArT hErE?
Today, I woke up at 4:30 a.m... U muz be wonderin', "Y so damn early?"... Actually, It's the fastin' day! And u guess wat I eat? KOKO CRUNCH!... Tis food will help me wif my energy till 7 p.m wen it's breakin' fast tyme.. After tat... I went bck to sleep coz I slept late yesterdae, doin' my STUPID 1200 werds essay!

Aniwae, I tot skool starts at 10 a.m today... I was wrong. I msg my "bacin" fren, Jannah & she told me it starts at 9 a.m... I'M LATE!!!!!!!!!! AND I MEAN REALLY LATE!!! Oh well, 1 time absent won't do us any harm rite? If I told my stupid lecturer tat I came, for 100% sure she won't believe... Coz u noe y? She's STUPID! Neva mind lah 'bout tat... I quickly ironed my clothes, and get myself ready for skewl! Eh, forgot... I actually promised my "sebat ko mampos" fren, Nurul tat I'll be wearin' baju kurung... EeEeSh! So troublesome... hv to iron those clothes...

Reached in skewl at 10 a.m..... Our mentor wanted to see us as a grp... Wants to wish & celebrate my frens b'dae... So fortunate MAN!... Got cheesy pizza, chocolate cake... ooohh... talkin' bout tat makes my mouth water! AHHH!!!! I can't eat 'em! I'm fastin'... Ctrll Syahida.. Ctrll urself.. hehe...

After skewl, went to library wif Jannah & Nurul... Tried to study but failed... Aiyoh!!! Den later, Nurul makes a move 1st... wants to see her boyfriend under the blck.. haha... Takder tempat lain ke Nurul? Duduk situ pulak... eesshhh.... Later peepz see... So "UNSIGHTLY!" sorry arh.. haha..Me & Jannah was left all alone in the library.. ..Awww... So sad.. We were in our dreamland, dreamin' of tins tat we noe, we can't get... Probably will, rite Jenot? Since we're in the library for a few hrs, sendin' picture of chicken to peepz.. We went to E-plaza to 'study'... yeah rite... study... Me? I din't lah! Of coz... U noe wat I'm doin'? Posting tis msg 4 u to read ler... OMG! It's so cold here... YES! Almozt 5 p.m... OooH... It's already 5 p.m!

with love, syahida at 10/16/2004 07:59:00 AM

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