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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Sunday, November 28, 2004

Went out wit Emy, Shahida 4C, Myra, Mai & 'bodyguard', Taufik & Adi. Met @ 11 a.m but turns out around 12p.m at Emyliprud's hse... As the boys had to go pray Jumaat, we waited for 'em... Tot of orderin' Macs or Pizza Hut... Pikir punya pikir... At last, we Emy bought instant noodle for us... haha! Ate, ate, ate... I'm feelin' 'muak' already.. Hari Raye tahun nie special ah! Makan instant noodle!


Eatin' Maggie at Emy's... OMG! Durin' Raya?

1:45p.m... The boys had finished praying and we meet 'em across Ubi to Jln Tenaga- Bedok Res. On the way to Nash's hse, met Hidayah. The 4C's 'jalaning' hari raya too! Ookie-ookie... let's start our QUEST!
1st hse- Nash's ~ Tot Mata kecik's hse was at level 4 but it was level 6. BIG surprise. The hse was nicely furnished. Modern concept.
2nd hse- Isnarti's ~ Knocked at her hse... Chit, chat,chit,chat... At last, Is wanted to follow us. Yeah! One more pple in our list!

Meanwhile waitin' for Isnarti to get ready & beautify herself, we resume our jln. Went to Siti
Rindrawati's but nobody at home. Aiyah!

3rd hse- Hid'zir's ~ Luohan yakkity-yak & brin' back sec sch memories.
4th hse- Ruzaini's ~ Emy act as if she's Ruzaini's sis's fren but his mum recognised her... haha!
5th hse- Fazahiya's ~ Mummy! Ader kucing! Nasib cume ader segelintir makhluk asing yang nampak adegan hindustanku dgn kucing tersebut! Waduh! Waduh!

On the way to nxt hse, we pit-stop for a while... They watched tis Chinese drama at the Senior Citizens Corner. Hey! Brape lamer nak tgk crite tu? Kater nari nak balik cepat?

6th hse- Raimi's ~ Raimi not at home but luckily Isnarti new his parents... *PHEW*...
7th & LAST hse- Umairah's hse ~ Cute baby! Her anak sdare... Only 1 month plus, I guess... So frail... Boneless... DAMN CUTE!

Went back early at 8 plus as Emy had to fetch her relative from the airport. Decided for a 3rd round...





with love, syahida at 11/28/2004 01:00:00 AM

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