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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Thursday, December 23, 2004

BE WARNED! If u tin' tis entry is not for u, pls bar urself frm readin' it. U can resume readin' other entries but not tis. If u stubbornly wanna read, treat tis entry as a, "Wat happened wen u ill-treat others" post. Thankies for ur cooperation.




WARNING!




I hate u! I hate u to the xtremest core! I'm gonna erupt soon & it's all bcoz of u! I hope u noe hu u r! There has neva been tis enormous feelin' of hatred buried deep, deep inside my heart. U always spoilt everytin'! Muz I Emphasized on tis again? U spoilt everytin'!U destroyed my lyfe, our lyfe! U r juz a blitherin' idiot hu noes how to enjoy every single day! SELFISHNESS!
Step away from our lyfes, interloper! Get ur filthy-self far, far & neva cum back again! Have u not done enuff? Aren't u juz satisfied on wat damages u have done to my heart? Our hearts? Hypocrite! Shud I teach u to be ur true self? Oh no... I shud not. U r juz too "clever" for me. Clever in lying tat is. But, do u tin' u cud deceive me? Tin' again FOOL!
Tryin' to be nice & throwin' blandishments to me one dae & the next dae? Wat happened? Too engrossed wit ur world until u forgot ur religious & bounden duty? Oh PUHLEEZE, dun make me barf here.
Bloody-mided! Stay away from us! Bozo, widen ur eyes & see wat I'm typing here! I'm not writin' tis out of my ego! Here's a piece of 'advice': Continue destroyin' other's lyfes like wat u did to me. Hey, why break a habit of a lifetime?

with love, syahida at 12/23/2004 01:08:00 AM

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