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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Saturday, December 25, 2004

It's not Guess as in Guess? Haha. Dun mind me. I'm nuts.Prob juz bcoz I'm typin' tis late, late at nite & I'm tired. Totally tired.

Hey peepz! I'm back! Syahida's Back! Ho..ho..ho...

As I did mentioned above, I'm blitzed. Totally worned-out. Went out shopping at Taka wit my sis, my cuzzie & her baby, Faezin on the 24th. Crowded. Packed. Phobia strikes again. I'm agoraphobic (as if). It's Christmas eve & there's so many peepz! Lucky us, Faezin's behavior was up to my expectations. Seriously. We had to squeeze pass thru loadz of sweaty figures. Sum givin' out flyers, sum askin' for donations & sum juz shoutin' & jinglin', "HO!HO!HO! Merry Christmas to all!" AaaRrrGggHhh! Shoutz & chaos everywhere...


At Orchard MRT station... Crowded. Managed to take sum photos. Crazy huh?

Reached Taka... Phew, at long last! Pasted on the glass window of the shop, the notice said, "Please use the next entrance." I looked thru the transparent tin' & saw crazy customers, findin' their way thru the shop- Goin' to fittin' rooms, enquire info from the staffs, browsing thru stuffs, & blah..blah..blah...
Walked the other way round & yeah, we made it to Guess! Fought our way to the jeans section & took sum pairs to try on. Variety to choose from- slimfit, flare-leg, crop, daredevil & blah..blah..blah.. Can't remember the styles. But, nice designs & cutting.

Every now & den, the sound of the alarm is heard at the exit. Howeva, seems like nobdy attends to it. Irritating! Wat for did they build tat tin' there?
Tried several pairs of jeans on- size 24 was quite tite & 26 was loose. Size 25 was prob juz rite but it was nowhere to be seen. Wanted to approach the staffs for help but they doesn't seem 'customer-friendly'. Sad to say tis but, poor customer service. Most of 'em were merely interested keepin' the 'messed-up' shop tidy den servin' customers. Sum even ate sweets on the sellin' floor! Shocking! Won't do 'em any good coz if they tried keeepin' the messy shop clean & not serve the customers, customers wud juz pull out the whole stack of nicely folded garments & messed it all up again. Ain't it a waste of their energy & tyme?

Purchased! Got my new pair of jeans! My sis got one too wit a belt! So does my cuzzie! Muz recapitulate tis again- I'm not wealthy. I'm not rich. I'm not well-to-do. We've got vouchers as a gift from my cuzzie's hubby. Thankies a lot Abang Abbas!Thankies again. To Kak Lisa & Faezin too... Hati ku riang, lidah kelu tidak terkata! Ku melonjak kesukaan... Yeah! Sluar jeans baru! WOO HOO! I'm in dreamland!


Guess Belttat belongs to my sis.. Nice huh?

Next, we hunted for a place to eat. Our stomach's started growlin'. One by one of us looked malnourished. Faezin's already hinting tat he wants to go home... poor toddler looks sleepy. Any tyme he cud juz dozed off. As the Orchard area was packed, we went down to Marina's to eat Macs. (These few daes I have been eatin' too much junk food. Oh dear, muz exercise! I feel so 'humpty-dumptied' Hmph!) The kid's energy was charged as soon as he got his Happy Meal. For sure I won't doubt the name 'Happy' again. Oh yeah, my sis doesn't even noe tat student's value meal exists. Poor gurl.

Reached home, too obsessed wit the jeans, I tried it wit several other tops. Nice colour, nice cutting but juz a bit too loose- size 26. Kak Lisa stayed over & played wit us UNO (juz bought only at 10 bucks. Cheap eh?) & Cluedo. Awesome dae! F-U-N! Too bad she'll only stay here for a day... Awww... Slept nearly at 3 a.m again...


The cute Faezin... I'm gonna miss u wen u r gone... It's ookie, coz Auntie's gonna visit u!



with love, syahida at 12/25/2004 02:47:00 AM

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