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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Saturday, January 01, 2005

It seems juz like yesterday...

When boys meant "yuck"
and friends were new
dreams were unshattered
and worries few

When recess was too short
and life too long
decisions came easy
without the need to belong

When storks delivered babies
and passions weren't so strong
friendships were unbroken
right was right, wrong was wrong

When bad things didn't happen
and only skinned knees brought tears
and the nightlight in it's socket
quieted all of out fears

When farewell meant just for summer
and real friends didn't part
and fun went on forever
and never left a broken heart.

Those beautiful memories...

Memories,
A bouquet of flowers,
Or long forgotten dry leaves.
Some that lit a soft smile on your face,
While others which makes your eyes drizzle.
While still others of cherished times,
which make you feel happy,
even though your eyes cry.
Memories,
That creep in my thoughts from nowhere,
That run around my mind unabated.
The story of time created.
which make you relive those old moments,
Sometimes vivid, sometimes faint.
Memories,
That gives rebirth to that old love,
Rebirth to the time spent with that dove.
makes you travel back in time.
penetrates through,
the dark clouds of time,
later to be washed out by the rains of present time,
but before that,
makes one feel the warmth of that old sunshine.
Memories,
Cherished, preserved,
Remembered and treasured.
Hated, forgotten avoided and cursed.
Memories,
That shall keep me alive,
Long after this carrier of my soul dies.

I shall remeniscence those special moments to me... Shall bury it deep, deep, down inside me... & remain, a memory... 2004, now juz a history...

with love, syahida at 1/01/2005 01:40:00 AM

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