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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Sunday, January 30, 2005

Been busy wit lyfe tiz past few daes. Let me update a lil 'bout it.... Muz warn u 1st! It's gonna be a loooong entry!

Mon 24/1- Wo jiao Syahida. Wo shi qi sui. Wo hen ke ai, bu yao du ji. Go figure, my dears..
Chinese Electives as usual after skewl. Learnt the four different tones- wo1(high pitch) wo2(risin' pitch) wo3(low dippin' pitch) wo4(fallin' pitch)... hahaha...

Wed 26/1- Went out wit Nurul, Jannah, Nisa & Salbiah after stoopz 2 hrs lab session in skewl. Headed to town, far east coz the chimp & beruk wanted to find sumtin' for their steads. Oh ya, there's tis weird woman. I was walkin' down wit my companies & she suddenly approached me wit tis silk pro booklet. Among all the crowd of pple y me? The chosen one? Heh. We ate at Long John's 1st- Cheap but nice food! Pathetic me! Den, we went window shoppin' there. Tired. Exhausted. Worn-out. Blitzed. Poor me, low-resistance. Actually, I hate walkin' along Orchard, it's always crowded wit sweaty, rich, snobbish, pple. Not only tat, the tall buildings scares cute & short pple lyke me! hahaha.. Now, the feelin' of hatred towards Orchard seems to be fadin' away wit the existance of great companies! But, it won't totally fade for sure! No matter wat, I still hate u, ORCHARD! hahahaha *evil sneer*.. shutever Syahida. Later, to topshop's to try on several outfits.


Nurul in Pink, Jannah in green & Me in my fav color!
Buy two of tis outfits & u'll receive a 20% off! Anybdy wanna buy for me? Pweety puhleeze wit a cherry on top! But I look fat in tat outfit, so it's okie if u dun wanna buy for me.. ahaha. Ain't tis pic nice? I lurve it- So colorful!

Den, we slacked & took sum pics.. Cum, lets take a look at the pics!

The pics above & below was taken at Quicksilver's while waitin' for the undecidable creatures to purchase a pair of Qsilver's slippers! Nice surfboard eh? Nice, as long as one dun purchase it & surf at any beaches in S'pore... C'mon peepz! S'pore got no big waves! Tis ain't Hawaii!

Salbiah & Me.. I look so ugly! Rite? So pale lookin'..
The next pic was taken wen we laze & slacked ard..

Ugly ducklin' & Pweety Nurul Shafiqah

I want to buy shades too! No $$$! Uwek... Uwek...
The next pic is a colgate advertisement...

The Pweety Jannah & Salbiah... Smyle & show ur teeth gurls!
WANTED

Does anybdy noe tis gurl? If found, pls capture & return to the zoo or better still, do a favor to beings by handin' to IMH. (Institute Of Mental Health)

Thurs 27/1- Went out again. Tis tyme wit only Jannah & Nurul, my dearies. At 1st, Jannah was goin' out wit her stead but sumhow, he can't make it so, there was a change of plan.

Jannah & me at the overhead bridge staircase.
1st trip was to Town, Far East again.

Took a pic near the fountain & rested our achin' & tired bodies.

2nd trip was to Esplanade. It was really fun! As there was not many beings ard, we challanged up the non-movin' escalator. BUMP! BUMP! BUMP! We sound like big, giant elephants goin' up the escalator dun we? Hahaha! Reached the peak & we were pantin' & laufin' lyke mad! Den, had 2 serves of Choco Ice-cream wit bread! Sigh...
(Mcm gini nak kurus? Takpelah, at least dah exercise naik escalator!)
Chose a spot & chitter-chatter, hear Dinodi song- Cinta Tragika. Soothin' song... Took sum pics but there was many peepz, all eyes set on us! Shy lar...

The ice-cream stick! Nice bckgrd rite? I lurve the colors!
The followin' is the spot tat we chose to laze at-

Aww... so suuweeet!

3rd small 'trip' was to a deserted place to take sum pics. I'll post tis pics later okie. Juz wait for it on my 'more pictures' column. Man! I look so ugly in those pics! But the posin' part was really fun!

Which ugly leg is mine? Guess & u'll win a punch frm me! Hehe..

OMG!
How can we get in there? Jannah looks so constipated! :P

Presentin', the jungle ladies! Where's ur respective Tarzans? Missin'?

I, the cute Syahida have the power to lite up the universe! *evil lauff*
Rubbish only... (Merepek no.1- Karutz-marutz)

~Singapore's Next Top Apes~
(Jangan angry...)
I really enjoyed goin' out wit tis two dearies of mine... Tired, but happy. More pics? U'll have to wait at the 'more pics' section at the left or u can click here-
Fri 28/1- My shacked dae. I feel so pathetic. So miserable. So messy. U noe y? I also dunno... No mood even to take pics. Aniwae, I look ugly in the pics! Show u sum anyhoos...

Me, tryin' to cover my horrible face. Used Nurul's specs to hide the hideous eyes..

At NYP's fountain area... Shacked but still can pose. Mind u!

Ugly me & sexy Jannah.
Sorry Jannah & Nurul I juz walked off the other dae. I'm tired, in need of rest. I looked so untidy tat dae & I juz wanted to get home fast. Sorry once again!

Sat 29/1- Went To Chinatown wit my family. Took a cab. We r no family lyke Richie Rich okie!

Mum beside me, while my sis is busy takin' pic of me.
In the cabby, on the way to our eatin' place. We decided on where to go to have our late breakfast- Long John's or Tekka. "Apek! Apek! Go Little India!"
1st trip- Little India. Tekka- Ate Rice & Asam Pedas.. Share coz we can't finish eatin' alone.
2nd trip- Chinatown- The place was packed! Wit sweaty locals & tourists, browsin' thru the area for tins to buy. Smelly armpits. Crowded. Hot. It suddenly seems lyke a bad idea to go there. I did tell u rite in my previous posts tat I hate crowds? I wud whoop wit joy if we finish shoppin' in juz a few secs there. Oh ya, I bought tis cute heart-shaped watch..

To Love - As cute as the owner! Hahaha!

The other daes which I din't include, either notin' much had happened or I had no pics to upload. Till den, U'll have to wait foe more entries aite! Oh ya, juz wait, I'll update the pics soon! Toodles, Take Care & Smuackiezz!

with love, syahida at 1/30/2005 11:52:00 PM

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