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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Monday, January 31, 2005

@~~...::sEc0nDaRy sCh0oL::...~~@

a) What is/was your form teacher's full
name?
Sec 3: Ms Saffiah Md Amin
Sec 4: As above

b) Ever been late for school?
Of coz lah..

c) How many times?
I only rmmbred tat I was late for 2nd day of
skewl durin' my sec 1.. Haha.. 2nd day
already late! Hey, but most of the tyme I'm
early okie! I'm a gud student! :P

d) Ever been punished?
Haha.. yeah... The most memorable &
depressin' punishmt was wen I got yelled at
& was told to stand behind the class ALONE
for the WHOLE lesson by tis ill-mannered,
incorrigible, freak, teacher.. Sighs... Nbdy. I
repeat, nbdy... have the rite to yell at me.

e) What did you do?
Not my fault okie... My fren was talkin' to me &
I'm the one who got screamed & punished
at! No fair! Boo hoo Hoo...

f) Detentions?
Nopey, nopey..

g) Did anything to shame yourself in?
Of coz lah! Haha... Many2 tymes.. (Buat malu
only..)

h) What is/was your principal's name?
I had to tin' deep to rmmbr.. poor memory.
Her name- Mrs Yap Weng Ha

i) Do you always hand in your homeworks?
Most of the tyme yeah... & I had to FORCE the
others to hand in their h/w bein' the maths
rep for 1st half of the year. It was TORTURE I
tell u!

j) Ever been counselled in school?
Counselled, nopey.. But teacher tried to
resolve our conflicts in a casual way.. To me,
it's not counsellin'..

k) Why?
Alahai... So many Qs. Can I smack U?

l) Did you top your whole class?
Depends on wat subjects & wen.

m) What do you like in your classroom?
1st- The only air-conditioned classrm! :D
2nd- The unity of all my kewl classmates!
3rd- The kecohness envmt..
4th- The big, big table where we can store as
many books underneath it..
5th- The 'secret' hide-outs to keep our books..
6th- 'Berok North' Sec skewl corner..
7th- Picnic tyme!
I juz lurve everytin' in it & I miss
those 'classroom' daes.. Poly no room, so
boring!

p) What is the punishment for late
comers?
I can't rmmbr.. I've neva got punished for
bein' late! Coz if I'm late, I'd rather go back
home & take MC! :P

q) Liked any teachers before?
Lain mcm je ni Qs.. No, but I look up to tis Malay Teacher as my role model- Cikgu Rahmah. Suweeet & lurvely she is!

r) How is the food in the canteen?
Yeah, it was sumptuous! But most of the
tyme we juz buy garlic bread or pau & brin' it
up to the class despite of warnins & all! So,
dint eat much..

s) What do you always buy in the
canteen?
Garlic bread & pau... If after PE, exhaustion
overcums me, den I'll buy rice wit HOTDOGS
& kuah lemak! YuMmY!

t) Any CCAs you took part in??
St John's..

u) Been together with anybody in the
same school?
No lah..

v) What was one tin' u regret?
Not spendin' enuff tymes wit all my sec sch frens. I mizz 'em so much!

with love, syahida at 1/31/2005 10:28:00 PM

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