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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Saturday, January 01, 2005

It has been said that life has treated me harshly; and sumtimes I have complained in my heart because many pleasures of human experience have been withheld from me, but when I recollect the treasure of friendship that has been bestowed upon me, I withdraw all charges against life. If much has been denied me, much, very much, has been given me. So long as the memory of certain beloved friends lives in my heart, I shall say that life is good.
~Helen Keller~



Thanx to all my beloved friends for being there for me. Thanx to all my detests for helpin' me bloom to a mature lady. Thanx to my fellow family members for being pieces of my bones to help me stand upright. I apologized if I had ever misunderstood, hurt, threaten, troubled, forgotten or wateva any one of u. I am sincerely and ultimately sorry.

How I miss my sec sch days...
It seems juz like yesterday,
When rite now,
I'm packing up my bag
Ironing & trying out my new uniform
Hemming up my skirt...
Nervous & tired,
Trying my best to finish up my homework...
Msging all the others,
"U finished ur work?"
Sigh...
Now it's juz a part of my history
Those wonderful moments
Which I cherish
Which at times I tried to relive...
The 'kecohness' in the class
All the sleepy morning looks
Teachers sreamin' & yellin'
"Pass up ur homework or else..."
I miss those days..
I miss being a sec student..
I miss my teachers..
I miss my friends..
Don't u miss me too?
Cud I turn back the time?
and remain in sec sch?
Stupid question, I noe..
But this is how deep I miss,
Those splendid days... 2003
Den came 2004..
Births
Deaths
Joy
Happiness
Sorrow
Tears
Victory
Repentance
Depression
Punishments
Reward
many, many different recollections..
Now,
As a new chapter ends,
I opened a new book..
Thus opening a new year..
Year 2oo5
Where all history will repeat itself...
Tataz & Muackies to all my deariez out there! Catch it!


with love, syahida at 1/01/2005 08:06:00 PM

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