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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Sunday, February 06, 2005

Sigh.. Sumtymes I juz wish I'm completely feelin'less. Bein' ignorant to everybdy & everytin' around me. But, I can't.
Tis is me-

  • Always sympathisin' others but can I do anytin'? All I can do is comment, "Ooh.. so pitiful of 'em," weneva I see beggars or others in need of help. At tymes, even my heart hurts each tyme I spot those sweepers out there. If only I have the power to help those in need... If only I have the money to donate to 'em... But no, I'm a useless, pathetic, bankrupt creature.

  • Always sympathisin' others but myself? I dun even have tyme to fully sympathise myself. Probably is juz tat I dun want to. It wud juz brin' tears to my eyes & wound my heart...

Do u understand me? All I can say is go figure.

So many problems occupies tis head of mine. Human beings r not made to run out of probs rite? Wat can I do? Juz control my patience & try solvin' it...
How I wish I was still workin', so tat I cud spend my money on good deeds...

Good deeds lyke the one above. Purchasin' prezzies for peepz. U see the Gio bag on the rite? Yes, tat's the one I gave my kuzzie's baby 4 his bdae. Rich eh? Last tyme durin' werkin' daes, yes.

So u may ask,"Y quit den?" FYI, werkin' lyfe sucks big tyme. It drains out all the happiness in me tho money cums in. Freeedom-less. Tired. Panda-eyed. Furthermore, I wanna concentrate on my studies. Still rmmbr those werkin' daes after skewl. I'll feel so, so, so sad tat no werds can describe. I felt no lyfe. Werkin' durin' weekends too. Do I have tyme to study? No.

Well, enuff of all my stoopz wishes. There are more actually. But let it juz remain buried in me. Till my fairy godmother grants all of it. Where r u my fairy? I need u....


with love, syahida at 2/06/2005 10:41:00 PM

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