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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Monday, March 21, 2005

My readings for today.

Dear Nur Sya,
March 21 - March 27, 2005


Don't worry if you end up feeling a little exhausted and just want to stay in and rest a bit on Monday. You should be feeling energized and ready to take on the world again later in the week. See if you can try to resolve a few financial issues before the week is through.


I feel so sick today. Exhausted also. Whoopie! I got 'A' for Mandarin elective! Pronounciation clear but tone was shitty. Well, enuff of tat. There's many tins tat make me sad todae.......
Firstly, I wud lyke to apologise to everybody whom i've hurt intentionally or unintentionally. Sorry if wat I did/said was wrong. I'm really sorry. ='(


Dearest Nurul, i'm sorry at wat I wrote in my previous posts. It hurts u & it hurts me too. Actually, I was cryin' wen typin' it all out. I miss u so much! Wen I received ur msg, I can't help but cry. We dun mind listenin' to ur problems. We won't consider it crappy. Juz share wit us k. U dun need to promise us anytin'. We'll accept u as who u r. But now, it seems lyke u HAD indeed changed ur behavior to be accepted by a particular party. Sorry if wat I typed in here hurts u Nurul... Really sorry. I juz wants u to noe. Realise wat I feel. I may not understand u. I may misunderstand u. I'm really selfish. Tell, me k. I hope it will clear all the misunderstandings. I hope it can help bind our lost friendship. It hurts to noe tat u cried. Sorry once again my dear Nurul... Sorry... Take care ok.


Secondly, I can't use my HP! I haven't paid my HP bills! Argh! My outgoin' calls & msgin' services are terminated. Shit ah! But it's good in other ways too...


Thirdly, WATEVA


Fourthly, WATEVA


Fifthly, WATEVA


WATEVA LAH! I hate livin' in tis world........................ Boo hoo hoo.... ='(
I'm sooo troubled wit never-ending problems of lyfe.
Each day is killin' me.
Every hour is my death.

with love, syahida at 3/21/2005 11:31:00 PM

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