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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Friday, July 29, 2005

It's 3 pluz now & we've juz finished skewl. Presentation fo 2035 was a total disaster.
Wait, I'm actually exaggeratin' here. It went oh-kay. Not tat well, juz out of our expectations.
Here I am, in the e-lab waitin' for the digital clock on the wall to show 4:00. Why? Haiyah.... have to werk lah.... I'm so damn lazy lah rite now... Tired, body achin', cramp, ulcers, heavy bag & a million more stoopid reasons for me to skip goin' to werk... Jannah & Nurul not here wit me.. So bored.. really bored. Y muz I werk if I'm lazy?

werk= more money, can buy tins. stress. no social lyfe. no revision tyme. tired. always tired. which ultimately results in my unhappiness.

no werk= no money, cannot pay bills, no daily expenses, no clothes. stress. can revise skewl werk. not always tired. happy most of the time.


Shud I werk or shud I not? Sigh.... Sumbdy, u, u, or even u pls help me out.... Money problem really sucks.Half an hour more to go b4 I'm off to werk. Still bored, sad & lazy... Isn't there any easier way for me to get money?????

Yesterdae was fun. Nurul went joggin'? Jannah too? A miracle man!!! Woke up early juz to jog in skewl... Erm, I tin' we wnt 5 rounds. Den bought sum water, sit down & talk. At 10, we headed to the toilet to shower. Yeah, all 3 monkeys. It was crazy I tell u! Instead of showerin', we sleep in the toilet, on the bench.

Few minutes later den we showered. Kecoh to the max!!! "Shampoo!" "Sabun!" "Oi! Sabun terpegi cubicle lain lah bodoh!" "hehehehe!!!" "Sape nak facial?!" "Eh, aku tgh cuci kasut lah!" It rrrrreeeaaallly tickles me wen I reminisced bck. The toilet was ours! Opps, no. It was Nurul's father's toilet. rite?

Eh, u all wanna go again! Fun kan! Cuma kitorg tiga je! Kecoh bangat nanti bu'! We maintain tis as our activity every Thursdae mornin' k! :)
Eh, Jannah, happy I updated? Tgh boring, sbab tu...
Nurul, Yan no more... u still hv us. Dun worry much k. Juz rmmbr, boys r boys. First few tymes they will say they lyke you but at tat nxt moment. Poof! Everytin' was juz a dream.. Dun trust 'em easily, we've warned you. Dun make 'em use u! Nice one dae, the next, only GOD knows...

Alah, I still nd to make-up 1hr for clinical. Leceh ah tu org. Sumbdy pls accompany me can? Nxt wed eh... pls... pls... pls... wit a cherry on top... K lah, wo3 wanna go off to werk... wish me happiness on my journey ya. safety too... In case... Toodles...

with love, syahida at 7/29/2005 03:08:00 PM

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