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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Thursday, August 04, 2005

Sitting in the train,
sleepy & all alone
It started to rain
& I'm shivering to the bone....
It is a bad start 4 a great day like tis.


Lets count how many bad tins had happened.


'1' It rained heavily & I'm wet.
'2' I came late for my make-up. Luckily, the clinical instructor(CI) dint noticed or did she?
'3' She den asked whether I had told my lecturer. I lied 'yes'.
'4' I decided to go to my lecturer's office to ask her to assist me.
Tat's wen I realised tat my lanyard's(assess to certain places) not wit me.
Damn!
'5' However, I managed to get in the room. But, it was the wrong level.
'6' Shit! Went up another lvl & poor me, there isnt any soul to open the room 4 me.
As u see, I had no lanyard.
'7' Went back to my make-up room & the CI asked where I went to. So kepo!
'8' I replied & lied tat I tried to find my lecturer but she wasnt in her room.
(I dint even go in her office as my lanyard's not wit me!!!)
'9' She sort of scolded me & asked me to go on & practise.
'10' I practised alone. Alone in one big room.
Where all the mannequins are lyin' on the bed & the branches of the tree are tappin' on the window.
'11' While practising my skills, the medication spilled on my book.
Worst to worst, it's already expired & the smell is awfully pungent.
'12' Wat's more? There's many students waitin' outside the room.
I heard sumtin' like tis,


A said- "Wat is she doin'?"
B replied- "Practising lor..."
A- "I tot practiced muz have few more students?"
B- "Den maybe make-up lah. Eh, but make-up needs a lecturer wat."
A- "Aiyah, dunno ah..."
Aiyoh!!!! So kepo are tis kiddoes!!! My business ah I wanna do alone!!!
They tot I cudnt hear wat they r talkin'... talk so loud.


'13' I finished my make-up session.
Walked out of the room & all eyes were set on me.
'14' Went to the loo & my hair's in a mess.
'15' Walk down the stairs to lvl 3 & nearly tripped.


At last, here I am in the a-lab....
Wonder y I got in here?
I got in here bcoz sumbdy tapped the lanyard.
Lucky me. Stupid you.
Isnt it sad wen nobody u noe r around?
Especially wen u have tis kind of weather?-
The wind is blowing & howling... The rain is pourin' so heavily..... ='(
Especially wen all tat bad stuffs had juz happened?
I wonder wats next... ='(
Hope my day gets better..................................................................................................................
Where r my 2 monkeys????????? Jannah & Nurul??????????????????
Y isnt tis Wednesday like last Wednesday.......





with love, syahida at 8/04/2005 11:32:00 AM

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