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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Wednesday, August 03, 2005

1.Where have you been an hour ago?
---> werkin'!

2. State your full name?
---> Nur adorable Syahida... (hehe. dream on)

3. Do you like your name?
---> of coz... so, dun eva nickname me.

4. Can you remember what you did on the
first day of your school?
---> nursery~ wail for my mummy.. =P

primary1~ withstand myself frm cryin' & look at other's cry. hehe.

sec~ play tis really stoopid game. i got forfeited!

poly~ watch sum stage play & play 'the amazin' race' which our grp dint win...

5. What do you want to be ten years from
now?!
---> now 18.. 10 yrs later, 28- prob. a successful career mum.... probably...

6. What did u feel upon receiving emails?
---> troublesome...

7. At what age you first learned to use a pc?
---> ............ i dunno ler ...............

8. Have you ever eaten any exotic food?
---> eeeeeww, i dun even dare to eat veges. wat more an exotic food?

9. What was the last illness that you had?
---> flu, cramp, ulcers, headache, fever.
(5-in-1.. haha)

10. Do you like listening to rap music?
---> at tymes...

11. Have you ever thought of driving the
train to uni?
---> i dun get u.

12. What did you do last 1st November 2004?
---> was it the fastin' mth or was it hari raya? hmm... dunno ah. bad memory.

13. Which do you prefer? A rainy or a sunny day?
---> rainy day!!! especially wen u r tucked in bed, the comforter wrappin' u... so comfy! or better still, out there wit ur frems, playin' in the rain... kan fun..

14. When was the last time you browsed
the bible?
---> erm, i'm a muslim...

15. What perfume do you have?
---> tis cheap, cheap follow me perfume...no money to buy expensive ones ah unless u buy 4 me.. hehe.

16. What is the brand of your first wristwatch?
---> eeeek! i tin' it was flash-G (the 'in' watch at tat tyme)... lupe ah.

17. Look at your back. what did you see?
---> window........................................

18. Say something about the person whom
you are deeply in love with.
---> soooooooooooooo cuteeeeeeeeeeeeee

19. Do you sing while you are taking a
bath?
---> who doesn't? tell me.

20. What did you have for breakfast today?
---> bready & eggy!

21. Your last dream that you remembered?
---> it wasn't a dream. it was a nitemare!

22. What do you usually say when you
meet a person?
---> Oik! (Lucky not oink! mcm miss piggy...)

23. Do you agree on the saying "to forgive
is to forget"?
---> can i say neutral?

24. Can you ride on a bicycle?
---> Can already!!! hehehe...

25. Last thing you held before using the
computer?
---> my h/p.

26. Where is the place you always
dreamed of?
---> a place, far, far, far away frm lyfe's unmanageable, unavoidable problems... a place where I can be happy all dae long... a place full of warmth, luv & happiness.... brin' me there k...

27. When was the last time your tears fell?
---> yesterdae...

28. Are you goin to leave your parents in
time?
---> our future is 'un-view-dable'.

30. At what age you are ready to get married?
---> >20 but <30.> simple wud be nice.

32. First person to run if you are depressed?
---> my dearest frens...

33. Whats the last movie you watched?
---> madagascar... (pity me. very outdated.)

34. Who was the last one you txted?
---> an alien frm the outer werld.

35. What was your worst flood experience?
---> there r many tins tat cud get flooded wat...

36. Were you attracted to a person ten
years older than you?
---> neva, eva.

37. Are you happy at this point of your life?
---> unsure of my happiness myself.

38. What do you want to eat tomorrow?
---> hello pandas.

39. Are you in love now?
---> yeap.

40. With whom?
---> wit my kuzzie's baby.. haha.

with love, syahida at 8/03/2005 01:38:00 AM

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