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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Apologies to u guys out there. Been busy wit lyfe for a moment till I 4get to blog.
Heez. Dum, dum. Oh ya, the last entry was a bit confusin' I noe. To Kak Diana, I dint attend make-up course but it actually meant 'replacement-make-up'. Aniwae, lyke wat I said, my schedule's packed!
Lemme juz recap back those few daes....
  • 16th August- Esprit's Dinner & Dance! Our team was fairytales & we got 'The Little Mermaid'. Guess who I was? The seahorse! hehehehe...

try to spot me if u can...

  • 30th August- Happy burfdae to me.

Happy burfdae to me.

Happy burfdae to Syahida The Adorable.

Happy burfdae to me...

Yessah!!! Finally 18! Haiyah.... it's nthg special really... or so I thought. Unfortunately, I was havin' my attachmt at CGH but my shift was 7-3.. phew. I decided to give myself a burfdae treat by takin' a day off frm werk tat paticular dae. Howeva, those sweety pies have actually planned sumtin' for me... hmm...

As soon as it hit 3, Nurul, Jan & me quickly change our nursin' uniform & headed to ECP. Pixies courtesy of Nurul Shafiqah Ismail a.k.a beruk/roger-



we are in the taxi, on the way to ECP.. weee....

the taxi driver

Here we are at ECP & look wat they did?

They torture tis lil, adorable, sweet gurl! I dunno how many minutes i was blindfolded wit tat bandage... I dunno how many passer-bys have been lookin' at me. Prob they might be wonderin' tat I juz had an eye surgery- cataract op. -_-... Oh, btw Lyd was there too..

They (the monkeys) brought me around & around & around & around & AT LAST, we've reached the place! I stripped the bandage off & my eyeliner was smudged. Horrible, man!!!

Oh my goodness gracious me! They've actually planned a mini burfdae celebratn! Sooooooooooooo sweeeeeeeeet! Even a burfdae wish was engraved on the sand by dear Nurul! There's loads of food & prezzies to open up.. khekhekhe... I'm so touched! Thx dearies!!!!



After we've fully filled up our tummies, suddenly tat shtoopid Nurul sabo me wit the cake!!! Argh... "Mummy! I'm all dirty... uwekkkk" Ape lagi? I go & sabo her back lah! sabo jannah, sabo lydia, sabo-menyabo & all 4 of us got choco cake on our face! haha... punyelah kecoh! Mcm ramai org gitu yg dtg... padahal..

As the dae passed & turns evenin' we quickly cleanse our dirty selves & packed the area. 2 after another & as usual, Jan & me always had a tough tyme findin' the toilet at ECP even tho there's a big signage there... double dums..

Well, soon it was bout 9 plus & the cloud looks red. Rainin' soon, i guess. N yeah, it did rain... to be exact, it drizzle. Mum called & nagged to go home early. I was slightly saddened by her tone of voice coz it's my special dae tat dae & instead, she was talkin' to me harshly... Surprisin'ly, she called back, tis tyme talkin' to me sweetly.. Muz be due to my sis's help. Thx sis, if it was u who helped make mum understand. =)

On the wae bck, we pit stop for a while & took more pics.

At home, I opened up all the prezzies they give. 1 pair of cute pink & white flip-flops, 2 bodyshop perfumes, 1 bodyshop body lotion, 2 mini facemask solution frm shisheido & biotherm. Thx gurfrens. Tis is really a memorable burfdae celebratn for me. I dint noe tat u all wud plan to tis extent, I'm really touched. I'm gonna plan celebrations for u burfdae too!!! juz wait k... aniwae lydi, sorie we dint plan anytin' on ur burfdae.. nxt burfdae? for sure we'll plan sumtin'.. insya'allah...

-more pics up soon- toodles -


with love, syahida at 10/05/2005 02:25:00 PM

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