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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Thanx to those who hv wished me on my burfdae-
well, in case u came across my blog..


1stly, my family... Thx 4 bein' there n supportin' me weneva i needed u all. Mum, i'm tryin' to be a good daughter, yes i am. Thx 4 ur burfdae wish ah... mmmmmmmmuuaaah. love u mum!!!
2 my siblings- u all r a bunch of irritatin' monsters tat i have to live wit. Wateva it is, I luv u all n the thought of separatin' frm all of u or wen 1 of u gets in a deep prob really troubles & hurts me... tho i dint show it... love ya my family! Hugs & kisses to u..

Humairah-
Happy belated bdy syahida.. moga dipanjangkan umur dan dimurahkan rezeki. Stay cute oways. 13:11:34 31/Aug/2005
me- Thx mai.. u too, stay cute yeap!


Jannah-
Sya!!! Open e presents n tell me if u like it or not k.. Well i hope u enjoyed 2day.. E 3 of us tried our v best 2 make u happy.. Although we dont really haf the money n cant make u e happiest person.. We juz wanna show that u mean so much 2 us.. That we want u 2 b happy... Love u so much sya.. Happy birthday again! :-) btw im online ready.. Haha..
me- Awwww... Jan, u r so sweeeeeeet. yeah really like the presents. aniwae, it's the thought tat counts. Thx loads yeah n luv ya too!
22:35:13 30/Aug/2005


Shafawati- Eh... Alamak! Lupa la.. Happy18th Birthday to u.... Enjoy eh.. 15:28:07 30/Aug/2005
me- haha... thx gurl


Saleha- As I was lookin' for a sweet msg for u, searchin' high & low.. It seems lyk none is suitable for u.. Why u ask? Bcz the msgs cant compare 2d sweetness dt u aredy hav! Happy Birthday!
09:20:51 30/Aug/2005
me-haha, sweet...


Candy Gio- Thks! N u too! Happy bday! Luv ya! 07:44:59 30/Aug/2005
me- It's great havin' sumbdy sharin' the same burfdate as me..


Lydia-
Happy bdae sya!! Gd morning!! 06:47:31 30/Aug/aoo5
me- Thankie euu Lydi! Thankie euu 4 all the stuffs n the burfdae surprise.


Ying Ming- Happy birthday... To the shorty friend of mine... Haha 06:40:06 30/Aug/2005
me- short pple=cute pple. thx aniwae..


Nurul-
Oit monyet! Sorie smalam tk wish.. HEPI BIRTHDAE! Luv ya! 05:41:48 30/Aug/2005
me- Luv ya too beruk! Thx 4 all tat u did durin' my bdae! I really appreciate it.


Jannah- HAPPY BIRTHDAY SYA!!! Sorry didnt msg u earlier.. I tot wan msg u at 12 but I fell aslp.. :-( neways wish u all e best in everything n wish u all e happiness in e world! Frens 4ever! Love u always! Muakz! C u soon! 05:38:03 30/Aug/2005
me- Luv ya always too Chimp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Frenz 4ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Sarah (NAPS)- Hey happy b'day 2 ya wish ya happiness gd health n strength. Hope ur day wld b filled wif lotsa joy fun n happiness. Wish ya all e best in wad eva u do ;-) 00:44:26 30/Aug/2005
me- Tat is so sweet of u to rmmbr my bdae... thx so much sarah!!!


Ctkus- Hey gerl.... Happy 18th Birthday! Dah besar si ketot nie... haha... all e best in everythg u do... n stay cute always... 00:03:01 30/Aug/2005
me- Wah!!!!!!! Msg org tepat kul 12!!!! =) Thx alot my dear fren... miss ya soooo much!


Mc Donald- Happy Mc burfdae to u, Sya!!! From all of the staffs at Mac Donalds


Kak Suhailah- Slamat Hari Jadi yg ke 18, moga jadi anak yg baik. Jangan nakal2 tau... (ntahlah.. 4get liao)

FRENSTER

Lady Hawke,

Sep 03, 2005 10:09 PM
Sunday, September 04, 2005:
Opps Syahida... I'm so sorry coz I forgot ur birthday. Pls 4give me. Anyway, Kak Lisa, Abg Abas, Ezin & Fitri wanna wish you HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY and more all your hopes and dreams will come true. Can't write much coz Ezin is doing some biznes and da wind is blowing da pungent smell at me... LOL... ;)

Aug 30, 2005 05:34 PM
Wednesday, August 31, 2005:
hey ger! hehe! HaPPi BirthDay to u!!! Wishing u all the best in everything u do ya!!!!!! :)(0.=)VictoRy!!

SzeWen,

Aug 30, 2005 02:12 AM
Tuesday, August 30, 2005:
Hmm..i dunno why in my friendster friend's list i see tis gal's account has a small little cake shinning bright..as i view her profile OH IT'S HER BIG DAY! Hahaha..kinda lame..Well hope u have a great time today..'HAPPY B'DAE!!'

Aug 29, 2005 09:15 PM
Tuesday, August 30, 2005:
***@"''"''@ ************************************( ='.'= ) h@pPy BirThDaY...!!! *o~('''')('''')O **^^ & Best WIsHes...(",)^^ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**********************************************

-L-i-y-a-n-a-,

Aug 29, 2005 04:11 PM
Tuesday, August 30, 2005:
lalalalalala. shit euu. euu've turned eighteen & i haven't even tasted seventeen.can i slap ur face? pls. once only. nyahaha.yeah. niway, HAPPY BDAE to my dear sis~ simple yet fashionable.(=eh. samad sani behind euu. hah. hah. hah.Lotsa Lotsa <3ur>

zuraidah,

Aug 29, 2005 09:58 AM
Tuesday, August 30, 2005:
happy birthday..hooray..finally somebody has turned 18..it's been quite some time since i bump into ya in school..semoga dipanjangkan umur..dan dimurahkan rezeki..(hehe..i noe..i noe..sounds makcik-ish)..aniwaz, haf a great day ahead.. and may u receive lots of prezzies..=)

-EnVy Us-,

Aug 24, 2005 06:17 PM
Thursday, August 25, 2005:
hehe... ther's owez the actual day and belated mah.. hehehe!advance pon advance la... hahathe road may be bumpy,the oceans may be rough,but U shall prevail, in God's will...may u be bless and may u lead a wonderful life!!!*muackz*

Iin any case I accidentally left out anybdy... sorie k.... big apology frm me...

with love, syahida at 10/19/2005 11:11:00 AM

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