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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Wednesday, November 23, 2005

CAN SUMBDY HELP ME MANAGE MY EXPENSES?????!!!!!!????!!!!!



I'm useless wen it cums to managin' money. Asal ader duit je, belanje.Tak mkn pun takpe, takde duit transport pun takp asal dpt BELANJE. Tat's me a true spendthrift. yeay, I spent my money again. urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..............................
There's only bout 1oo bucks left inside my bank & I've spent about half of it. shit me. that means I've to really2 'ikat perut' & will have to wait for more bucks till my nxt pay which is on the 10th!!!! how eh.

hmmm...
ni lah, kwn nurul kirim baju kat kedai melecehkn hidup org je. dah lah tis yr raye collectn sikit. all bcoz I'm werkin' part-time. klau jadi org cine kn best.. keja, tak keja, asal blom kahwin, tetap collectn. if like tis might as well we dun get married rite? Collectn sepanjang hayat... weeee...


Sorie to my 3 nyets- jannah, lydia & especially to nurul coz I hv to break tis devastatin'ly-heart-wrenchin' news to u guys.. i cudnt make it tis saturday trip to the zoo. cudnt be able to change my schedule. u guys gave me last minute plan wat... sorie guys coz due 2 me, i've spoiled tis whole fun. cudnt u guys change the trip 2 any weekdays? wen i'm not werkin'... i hope u guys understand. i nd to werk, to get money. even tho werkin' lyfe really sucks, but i nd to do so.if i neva werk, there'd be no money. vice-versa, i cudnt be able to go trippin' wit u guys.sorie ya. nurul, as u can see, now i'm short of cash. ur burfdae's cumin, i noe. i really wanted it to be a wonderful burfdae but i tin' i ruined it before hand. i promise i'll make the celebratn a memorable one 4 u.but u hv to wait until my nxt pay k. apologies again. u guys go ahead k...




well, here cums our attachmt & i still havent get my uniform ready. most of it is defective. 6 pairs of my uniform are 'M' sizes which in real fact I cud fit into 'XS'. ape lah dey ni syahida... boringnyer attachmt..... hope everytin' goes well..
alamak, lupe plak. u ppl wanna noe sumtin'? tadi ade satu laki india gatal sort of followed me... eeesh, seram beta.

with love, syahida at 11/23/2005 11:41:00 PM

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