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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Friday, November 25, 2005

Urggh these unsightly results..

Semester 1 - 2005/2006

HS2034 NURSING SC IIA D+
HS2035 NURSING SC IIB D
HS2043 CLINICAL LAB IIA D+
HS2056 RESEARCH METHODS C+
HS2079 BEHAVIOURAL SC 2A C
HS2081 BIO SCIENCE 2A D

HS2083 CLINICAL EDU 2A C+



Look how ridiculous my results are.... tsk, tsk, tsk... if i ctnue on lyke tis, might as well i quit skewlin'! not surprisin' tho. i've already expected my results to be tis bad or even worser. as usual, i'm gonna blame it all bcoz i'm werkin'. watever syahida, watever... the actual fact was bcoz i hv no discipline & i hv no interest in studyin'. face the facts syahida! U'VE GOT TO BUCK UP!!! rmmbr ur 1st few poly daes wen u planned to study hard to achieve bein' the lucky top 10% of the students to study overseas? 2 words gurl, 'DREAM ON'. well, syahida... i guess u'll juz hv to ditch ur dreams if u resist to discipline urself on tis matter...

sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... seriously, sumtymes i'm juz too tired to study. after bein' back frm werk, all my emotions were sucked out. prob, u guys dun understand tis feelins in me.... sighhhhhhhhhh.... i've always plan to get more den satisfactory results every semester. sumhow, i juz cudnt make me discipline myself. yes, i did attend lectures, tutorial & all... but, at tymes i juz cudnt concentrate & wen i did so, sooner or later i'll lost all the infos i hv. it's juz useless n frustratin'...

tis cumin' monday attachmt already... leceh! bsok, keja... look how borin' my lyfe is. well, my wish for tmw- hope everytin' at work & at home gonna go well. hope tat those customers behave 'emselves & learn to respect us. till den- toodles!


with love, syahida at 11/25/2005 08:39:00 PM

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