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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Monday, March 20, 2006

BACK, BACK, LOOK WHO'S BACK AGAIN... SYAHIDA'S BACK
WEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......

ehylo!!!! been real, real, really busy.
sorry guys for not updating quite some time...
aniwaes, to update u guys a bit on my life,
i've been sick n sick again.
Feb i was sick n a month later, sick again.
tis fever/flu lasted for few daes.
it was horrible! i cudnt even taste wat i was eatin'.
blocked nose, runny nose, nausea, headache, bodyache.... sigh...
only GOD noes how painful it is to be sick.
oh ya, as i cudnt taste my own food, i started to eat less.
worst still, i got diarrhea one dae and all tat came in, goes out.
which therefore, makes me feel hypo.
there was tis tyme wen i was still feelin' sick.
i had to take stock & during tat same unlucky dae, i had diarrhea.
i almost fainted inside the mrt. my lips turned pale.
i broke out in cold sweats n i can feel my heart pumping against my ribs.
i plead silently at tat moment for GOD to give me strength.

ok, ok... enuff. i got bck to sch, i got bck to work.
and walla! "Syahida!!!! U slimmed down!"
so, the moral of the story is, "Get sick to slim down."
hahahahaha. hear n heed tat guys.
but, i dun belief I slimmed down.
i've managed to lessen my tummy but still, I'm fat.
so now, i'm undergoin' diet n i hope i'll not crash it.
i'm not gonna eat after 7!
n guess wat? i've managed to do tat!

how's work? well, one by one, everybdy like going off...
dun leave me pple! i nd u all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.... boo hoo.... (haha, crap, i noe)
aiyah, so sad u noe.... later all th 'O-lvl' kids gonna resume sch.
leavin us soon....... =( n heard some pple gonna quit also....
sigh............ ppl cum n go rite? easy said.. den to accept the facts.

School? exams AGAIN. my bio's getting worse.
attendance really bad. n i do mean REALLY.
i wonder wat i'll get for psycho....
so fast gonna be in year 3. soon, gonna leave the sch.
graduate wit diploma in nursing.
poly frens gonna go n new frens steppin' in our life.
my future??????? i havent learnt to sculpt it well tho..
i'm afraid i dunno wat i shud work as.
jan, nurul always rmmbr me k!!!!!!
syahida, the adorable.... muahahahahahahaha.
i'll for sure rmmbr u guys as Jannah Jennot n Nurul Roger!
i'm gonna miss all my poly frens!
MAN! i hate to accept the truth but y???
y do pple cum n go??????????!!!!!!!???!!
rite now, i'm havin' tis deep feelin of isolation n loneliness.
mayb, i'm juz stressed. mayb i'm juz depressed...
mayb i shud juz let fate decide my future...
shud i? shud i trust everytin' wit fate?
(shrugs....................................)




with love, syahida at 3/20/2006 11:08:00 AM

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