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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Friday, June 23, 2006

IT HAS BEEN A REALLY, REALLY LONG TIME.... SORRY U GUYS. SYAHIDA'S LIFE SCHEDULE IS JUZ SO PACKED.... BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I EVEN HAVE NO TIME FOR MY HEALTH.


On and off. on and off have i been tinkin to update tis online diary of mine. but as wat i've said earlier, i'm juz too busy to do so. working everyday frm weekdays till weekends, rotating frm attachments to part-time sales, NON-STOP. ridiculous heh.. well, tat's my life. wat to do.. fate has brought me to tis path. always miserably hectic. sigh.. if only i'm, "a rich, rich girl. in a rich, rich world" (sung to the tune of Barbie Girl by Aqua).. hehe.. sigh, n whine, n complain is all tat i do. however, at sum point of time, i would realise tat there are pple livin' in a more miserably hectic life den me. working almost 24 hours, everyday. Den, at tat time too, i wud stop my whinings n be greatful to GOD for 'considering' my fate.


But still, i dun get it. I dun get it y sum pple who cud afford much more ex items, havin' much less commitments den me, having much, much, much, much, much less (mayb even no) financial complications in the family are still not satisfied wit wat they hv. they can even compare my salary wit theirs. isnt it juz awful?!!!? dun they have brains or r they juz so absent-minded to tin' tat i earn more n therefore, i'm rich n i cud afford more items. dint they eva tin' tat i hv more commitments? N for goodness sake, i earn n work darn hard to get tat money so y are they juz so uneasy wit wat i own? n weneva such creatures asked me to buy some items, i wud reject, sayin' i hv to consider 1st. u noe wat the reply to me is? "U get more pay den me wat, only one item also cannot afford." wat the..tootttt... sigh... irritants, pesky human-beings.i hv the RIGHTS to consider wat i shall spend my hard earned money on. n u, creatures, juz be gone. urgh................................


well, many activities filled up my holidays 5 wks bck. if not workin', i'd be goin' out. went to chalet for 3 days of vacation. really, really memorable. but it's not tat enjoyable. sorry u guys, tat's the truth. =P.. well aniwae, one of the sundays i took leave off frm work coz wanna celebrate Kak Su's bdae. played bowling' n den we went to hv late dinner(or is it early supper)at simpang bedok. Kak Su's treat. yeah!!!!!!!


Mother's Day? I celebrate a belated one for my mum. LURVE U LOADS MUM. can't imagine my world without my beloved mum. we went shopping coz it's 'The Great S'pore Sale Season'. a day full of jumbled up feelings. u won't understand me. well, well. as soon as we finished shopping, we headed to 'Di Tanjung' restaurant to hv our dinner. we ate till we cudnt finish the yummylicious dessert we ordered- banana split, longan n chocolate sundae ice-cream. oooooh, tinkin' bout tis juz makes me salivate.


k lah. till here. gonna update the rest mayb nxt time. coz sis wanna use comp. toodle-oodles.

with love, syahida at 6/23/2006 10:18:00 PM

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