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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Friday, September 08, 2006

THANKIES TO EVERYBODY FOR ALL THE PLEASANT BDAE WISHES, WONDERFUL BDAE GIFTS AS WELL AS MAKING MY BDAE A TREASURED MEMORY.... MUAHS. MUAHS. MUAHS.



~By SMS~


Nora (Colleague): Wish u happy b'day ya. semoga gembira selalu disamping keluarga yang tersayang dan cepat2 dapat bf. hehe.
Time / Day: 00:06:37 / 30th Aug 2006


Nurul (NYP fren): SYAHIDA! HAPPIE BDAE MY DEAREST MONKEY.. Sorie i'm a lil bit late.. Juz wanna wish u a very pleasant bdae.. U're oredi 19.. Njoy urself 2 the fullest.. Dun always tink negative of urself cuz criusly.. N wateva it iz, we, ur frens, will alwaes b by ur side.. As i told ya, we r juz one kol away.. Once again, hepi bdae.. N we WILL ALWAES LUV YA! Nytez..
Time / Day: 00:42:17 / 30th Aug 2006



Choy Fung (NYP fren): Happy birthday to u. Haha. Today u got go back sch or not?
Time / Day: 09:30:36 / 30th Aug 2006


Tracy(NYP fren): Happy birthday...! ;-)
Time / Day: 11:08:35 / 30th Aug 2006



Fung Lun(NYP fren): hey gal.. happy bday to you.! :-)
Time / Day: 11:09:53 / 30th Aug 2006


Nurul again!!! (NYP fren): Hepi bdae! Yeay..
Time / Day: 12:33:27 / 30th Aug 2006



Ying Ming (NYP fren): Hey happy birthday..
Time / Day: 13:04:28 / 30th Aug 2006


Kak Suzila (Colleague): Shahidah happy birthday n biar panjang umur murah rezeki daripada ur Sister (suzy).
Time / Day: 23:09:45 / 31st Aug 2006



Kak Suhailah (NYP fren): Khas buat adikku yg tercinta, Syahida.Slamat Hari Jadi yg ke-19. Smoga dipanjangkan usia dan dirahmati Allah. Menjadi anak yg soleha dan gembira disamping kluarga. Smoga mempunyai masa depan yg cerah dan gembira bersama pasangan mu ;-). Stays cute & adorable alwaz. Lastlt, feel free 2 msg or cal me if u need anything. Frm ur chubby sis, ela. :-)
Time / Date: 06:17:07 / 31st Aug 2006



Faj (Colleague): Sorry i'm late bt HAPPY B'LATED BIRTHDAY!!
Time / Date: 08:00:05 / 31st Aug 2006



Humairah (BNSS fren): Happy bday syahida. moga awak dirahmati allah.amin. berbahagia slalu!
Time / Date :23:23:50 / 31st Aug 2006



~By Friendster~



Liyana (My irritating sis):
wiet. although i'll be seeing euu practically everyday. & i can say it to your face. i still wanna put this in text. HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY. and i actually thought of making euu sort of chocolate brownie cake. =).
see how ar. hah. ok bye.
see euu when euu reach home.
Date:29 Aug 2006


Zuraidah (BNSS fren):
syahida..
happy birthday.. yg ke brapa ekh?..
21 eh?!.. hee.. kla kla..
happy 19th birthday..
it's been long since i bump into u.. hee..
haf a great day ahead.. and may u kena sabo by ur frenz rabak rabak..hee..
(P.S: btw i changed my hp number oready..so yah keep in touch aite..)
*hugs*
Date: 30th Aug 2006



GaNjAcAtZ (Friendster Fren):
Harlo.... I just wanna wish u happy birthday and may all ur wishes came tru....
Date: 30th Aug 2006


Jia Wei (Ex-colleague):
hey, sorry for the late wishes. Anyway happy belated bday. Help me send my regards to esprit raffles also. =)
Date: 3rd Sept 2006



~Verbally~

  • Mum
  • Sisters
  • Brothers
  • Aunties
  • Jannah
  • Lydia
  • Rahayu
  • Gloria
  • Amin
  • Aida
  • Sham
  • Kent
  • Joyce
  • Saleha


Hmm... these r all that I can rmmbr. Sorie if I accidentally left out anybdy's name here n thx to all of ya.


~Now, now, now... bdae gifts~


Elder Sis: Titanium sub-card, SK jewellery pearl.


Nurul, Jannah & Lydia: a bdae card, sleeveless brown top, brown cardigan, brown bag, brown skirt, 2 pairs of earrings, a bracelet & a belt.


Ari (Nurul's bf.. ehem,ehem): Pierre Cardin coin purse.


Kak Suhailah & Abg Amat (Kak Su's bf.. ehem, ehem): a gold necklace, a gold "N" pendant & a toy flower.


Work Colleagues: a pair of dark, grayish jeans & a "stubborn" top.


Kak Lisa & Abg Abbas: 2 pcs of Zara top.


Lil Bro: A cute bdae song. haha.


Mum & Lil Sis: Bdae cake. =)


I guess, tat's all. This pic says it all. I had a great burfdae.



For everybdy who rmmbrd my bdae:


Thanks for the gifts and bdae wishes...
that all of you had sent my way.
Thanks for being really thoughtful...
What u all had done brightens up my day.
This 19th bdae shall I bury...
In my box of treasured memories...
Once again, thanks for making it happen u guys.
lurve ya. muahs. muahs. muahs.


with love, syahida at 9/08/2006 08:45:00 PM

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