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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Friday, April 06, 2007

yeahness! c'mon let's celebrate the revival of my comp!
hahahaa..

a lil update regarding my last clinical attachmts, PRCP.
Thk GOD these 2 wks went well. Still have 4 weeks to pull thru.
Hopefully, I cud, hopefully...
Cudn't wait for my night shifts which wud be on the 16th & 17th April.
I wanna noe how it feels like to 'camp' in the ward.
haha. btw, exam results will be out on the 10th pple!
check it out okies...

sigh... i've sooo many things to settle-
no. 1) i haven't applied for my EBT test yet. shit.
i dunno whether NIE wud approve my applicatn form.
n i dint even call 'em... i tin' i shud. later?

no. 2) i've to purchase sum items for my bro n my frenz at my workplace.

no. 3) i'm stucked wit my beginners for my car licence. dunno wen i'm gonna proceed wit the FTT.

no. 4) urgh... i guess that's that many tins that i've to settle. hehe. but that many things i've to settle are really important ok..

well, last Sun went out wit my lurvely bunch to celebrate Jannah's bdae.
I tot i was late coz i usually make it with the 'Grand Entrance'. but, no.
those monkies were late & surprisingly, i'm early!
Met Kak Su & Abg Amat ard 5:30 near the fountain at Bugis, opposite Topshop, next to the pushcart, beside the lady in black behind the geek in the pink. hahahahaha. crap.
we went in the restaurant 1st whilst waitin' for the rest.
to cut the story short, after eatin', singin' bdae song, cuttin' of bdae cake & opening up of presents.. we decided to watch movie.
by that time, it was 8 plus.
Kak Su and Abg Amat proceeded home as Abg Amat's workin' the followin' day.

So, the 4 of us, continued on, stomach really, really bloated.
i so feel like vomitting that day.
Took the train n headed to Marina Square.



-------------------------------------------------
|| movie title: Because I said so.
|| movie starts: 9:30pm.
|| main character: Mandy Moore as Milly.
-------------------------------------------------
review: Tis movie tat we watch is a muz watch!
tho it's quit slow, draggy and all.. dun miss it!
it's best for peeps wit inner romanticness.
go n catch it quick!
-------------------------------------------------


by the time the movie ends it was already 11:30.
i'm dead meat. i haven't topped up my bro's n mum's ez-link yet.
but thkfully, everything settled after some panick moments.
thx fwenz. u guys are the best.

walked out to the place opposite peninsular and hailed for a cab there.
we waited, n waited n waited...
no single cab stopped. even wen they're not hired, they went pass us.
i guess they'll only take us aboard for the midnite charge.
so bad of 'em..

at last, we got a cab!
and that was also after midnite...
n the story ends there.
coz i got home, washed up n sleep... zzz.



n jan!
happy belated 20th bdae to u!
hahaha... welcum to the 'old' world.
no more 'teen' for u.
noe sumtin'? i'm still nineteen! hahahahaha.
syahida's here wishin' u gd luck for everytin' u do!
May u be blessed wit all the happiness n lurve in the world!
lurve ya gurlfren!

peace out pple.

with love, syahida at 4/06/2007 10:42:00 AM

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