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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Tuesday, May 22, 2007



Juz got back frm sentosa juz now wit my colleagues.
goodness, swimmin' always drains me out.
i'm so, so, so, exhausted.
coz i've been workin' like one mad gurl four days back.
FULL shift. 10 till midnite++.
and finally today...
wat time is it?
it's syahida's rest time!!!!

alot had happened at my workplace..
hmm. fri- 18th May was really mad.
we had sum member sales goin' on.
and as usual the store was packed wit kiasu beings.
it's juz the 1st day but my body aches EVERYWHERE.

on Sat- 19th May, was scary and hectic and urgh, it's undescribable.
while i was bout to sit down in the store room,
i placed my hands on the floor.
den suddenly, i felt a sharp prick on the palm of my right hand.
(ohkay pple, tis is no horror made-up stories. it's real)
guess wat i saw?
a red ant had bitten my hand?
guess quick...
hmm... give up?
i saw a pin, bout the length of a safety pin and slightly wider den it IN my hands.
it poked my hand. yes, the WHOLE pin was in my hand.
i was shocked. i dunno wat to do so i showed it to faj, my colleague.

me: Faj, help me take it out.
Faj: eee, eee, eew. dun want ah. eee. eee. eew. (turns head away.)

i dint realise tat it was quit deep until she reacted tat way.
den my naggy nursing fren cum retail colleague, Choy Fung saw too and..

Choy Fung: Take out lah. aiyah juz pull it. (sits beside Faj wit sincere intention of helping me but i guess she's lazy. hahaha.)
me: I dun want. I scared ar.... (obviously, after Faj's remark i started to feel afraid.)
Choy Fung: (still sitted at the same position "wit sincere intention bla bla bla...") go quick get sum gauze or tissue paper to stop the blood. go wash ur hands. quick.

ok, so i went straight to the pantry and showed my hands to the pple there.
my colleagues assured and reassured and reassured n ctnue reassuring me to take it out.
  • it will be painful but u have to take it out. (tis makes me more terrified.)
  • u want to brin' tis back and show ur mum ah? (haha. i'm in pain but u guys joke ard. nonetheless, it's funny.)
  • it's gonna be quick juz relax.

n FINALLY, wen the sharp pain slowly went up from my palm to my arms,
n wen i try to fight back my tears,
my colleague took it out.
THANKS ROLLETTE!!!!!
it was so quick and painless.
actually, the more i delay, the more the pain escalates.
Thank you pple for ur assurance. =)
and showing care for me. i'm touched. (awwwwww.)
oh ya, i've got burnt colgate marks on my face.
yes, stupid and rather foolish attempt to rid of pimples.
(i've got break-outs u see.)
and now, i'm known as 'the colgate gurl.'
so tat was Sat.

Sun- 20th May was confusing.
well, i'm one blur queen here.
i ate my fren's food tinkin' tat it was mine.
hahahaha.
sorry Faj. my mistake.
i'll promise not to do it again ok.
heeeehs. (grins apologetically.)

Mon- 21st May was heartbreaking Part one.
it was their last day attached in singapore-
my 2 wonderful n beloved colleagues frm Phillipines.
Rollette and Wine.



i'm really, really, really gonna miss u guys sooooo much!!!!
urgh. work wud surely be dull now.
no more manika ng mangkukulam.
no more panget. no more balieu. no more baboy.
="'(
do keep in touch ok. mmmmuaahsss.

so yeah. Tues. today. Tues. today. hahaha.
22nd May- heartbreaking Part two.
woke up today wit swollen leg. infection mayb.
i almost cudnt walk. but i forced myself to and ta-da. i managed to walk!!!!
went out wit my 2 beloved colleagues, Rollete, Wine and 3 others.
Choy Fung, Joyce and Aida to sentosa as said earlier.
it's quite a blast but soon, we are all soooooo tired.
coz we've all worked full shift the previous day.
to add to it, we did
swimming, volleyballing, 'monkeying', gossiping, and sooo much more.
anyway u guys shud go to the"LOUGE" at Sentosa. highly recommended.
best of the best u noe.
yeah tat was all bout it.
toodles and mmmmuaaahsmmmuuaaahhs lovelies.


highly emotional- can u sprinkle sum dust of happiness in me?

with love, syahida at 5/22/2007 10:02:00 PM

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