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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Wednesday, July 04, 2007



i've started my new job...
well, in case sum of u dint noe, i've quit my part-time job.
i'm officially a staff nurse at CGH!!!
gosh... i'm actually a nurse! a staff nurse!
later, the relatives, the patients and EVERYBODY wud call for me.
"staff nurse, staff nurse..."
"missy, missy..."
oh my goodness... am i really, really ready for all this?
do u believe me? I'm actually a staff nurse!
ok, ok, *breathes in, breathes out*
i've to be quick in adjusting myself to a new environment.
maintain calm syahida.... relax....

anw pple, i'm in the surgical/orthopaedics ward.
and it's a male ward.
those workin' in CGH might more or less noe which ward i'm referrin' to.
not gonna tell u the exact ward i'm workin' in. privacy reasons... heee.
oh, i'll repeat again. i'm in a MALE ward.
am i stern enuff to counter difficult male patients?
am i? i hope so... i'll learn, slowly...
and of coz, i hope to be the best!!!
pray for me ok lovelies...


(click to enlarge)


hey. if any nosy pple out there who had been wonderin' y i chose nursin'.
here's y.
i wanted to get into teachin' sooo much tat i've applied for a scholarship and tried diploma even.
i tried, n wen they reply tat i wasn't accepted due to the overwhelming response they rcvd, i was extremely shaken.
(anw, part of it was mayb due to my poor diploma results. it's my fault. i dint know poly results were important. i work, and studied at the same time.)
at tat point of time, i was really, really down.
in the face of others, i smile, i laugh, i joke. but nbdy knew, how lost i felt. how lonely.
but i was quick to realise tat it's pointless if all i do was fuss over tat and din't make any effort to find alternatives.
so i did. i picked myself up, assuring tat everytin's gonna be fine.
and now, i got myself a job.
i'm grateful. i noe, the complications of life wud not juz end here.
it'll go on and on and on... like a ferris-wheel.
tis is sumtin' tat everybody have to go thru.

btw, i'm gonna wear tat long, big graduation gown tmw.
hehehe. i'll look very drowned!!! hahahaha.
gee. i can't imagine myself on the stage.
truthfully, rite now, i'm in no mood to tin' bout grad.
watever lah syahida.
oh, i bought tis chinese ring for a healthy life. ;P

slowly understanding who's who.
and i tin' i noe who...

with love, syahida at 7/04/2007 06:22:00 PM

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