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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Sunday, August 12, 2007

i hate work.
i hate those stupid creatures who throw hurtful remarks.
i hate them.
i hate life.
it sucks. big time.

they wudnt realise it but tho how short tat phrase is,
"u're not fit to be a nurse"
it SHATTERED my life.
throwin me into tis anguish state.
thx. are u happy now???!!!!!!!??? ='(

i took up nursing coz i tot i cud prove to myself tat i'm suitable for tis job.
but tat remark turned my life over.
and now, i dun have the confidence.
it was ripped away frm me. how cruel.
='(

i shudn't have stayed behind.
i shudn't have..
I'M NEW OKAY!!!! AND I'VE NEVER SEEN ANY COLLAPSED CASES BEFORE!!!!
FOR U TO SAY TAT IS PLAIN UNFAIR!!!

i locked myself in the staff's toilet and cried and cried...
msged nurul for advise.
later, called kak su, tryin' to hold back my tears.
but i'm very weak- i broke down and kak su realised tat there is sumtin' wrong.
she asked me to cum over.

the weather seems to sense how i feel.
it started to drizzle as i make my way to the mrt.
slowly, it rained heavily once i reached the station.
kak su fetched me at tamp.
den, it started to drizzle again...

upon reachin' kak su's crib, i changed to the clothes she lent me.
and prayed to GOD to provide me strength to carry on wit my life.
(seriously, i felt no joy to live anymore.)
den i poured everytin' to kak su. and she advised.
it was nice and sumhow really comfortin'.
thanks kak su. i miss ur presence now.

anw, i've bought a camera.
my babyblue.



it keeps me company, makin me happy wen i'm down.
i lurve u baby. heehee...
here are sum pics i took wit it.
wait, i'll post my pics at my multiply. go check it out.

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oh, and as i've promised, tis is the gigantic frame i've got.



see. the 3 cute birds there. =)



my greatest drawback is my lack of confidence against conflicts.

with love, syahida at 8/12/2007 07:36:00 PM

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