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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Tuesday, August 28, 2007



went out wit my poly fren, sze min rite after work tho i was absolutely drained.
we talked n shared bout our lifes. truthfully, i felt kinda awkward. =P
anw, she gave me a treat at swensens! so unexpected.
it was rreeeeeeeaaaaaaallly sweet of her...
she even bought me tat cute lil red mushroom n tat flower.
me? i dint even have anytin' for her. (yaaakdooosh, syahida!)
nevamind, there's always a next time. rite?

now, i have 1 new addition to my flower collection!!!!
weeeeeeeeeehoooooooooooooo.
who wanna buy me summore? puhleeeeeese. heeee.
it's adorable ain't it? well, it brought a pinch of happiness into me.



ohkay, i may sound happy in tis entry but i'm actually not.
i live everyday like a walkin' zombie- tryin' to desensitize my emotions.
sigh... not gonna bore u wit another 'i-hate-work episode' but I DO HATE WORK...
='(
heck, i'm gonna enter it in tis entry aniwaes.
quittin' has always been playin in my mind. n to tin' of it's consequences, quittin' i mean, will juz make me suffer more. it's hopeless. my life, is ruin.
i'm tired if tinkin'... i'm tired of life.

i'm gonna grow old in a few days time n yeah, it did not even excites me.
i'm not lookin' forward to it. i dun have anytin' to look forward to.
everytin' looks so dull to me. not black, not white. not even grey- juz dull.

ohkay, back to saturday.
after tat short meetin' wit sze min, i met up wit lydia n nurul coincidentally.
as usual, instead of doin' sum catchin' up, we talk rubbish.

k lah, i'm tired n sleepy. yaaaaaaaaaaaawn.
ouh, i ordered 21 bucks worth of sushis to my house today.
most of it has been eaten tho. want some?



CANNOT! hahahahaha. toodles lurvlies. mmuahs.


if only it's possible to end everything. if only.

with love, syahida at 8/28/2007 08:16:00 PM

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