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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Monday, October 08, 2007

5 more days to raya...
gosh. i'm like so not looking forward to it.
and i'm like so not prepared tho i've bought my raya clothes way back in June.
Kiasu rite? i noe. =P

Ever heard the song sung by Alias Kadir which goes like tis-
kuih raya belum buat, baju raya belom beli, bil api air belom bayar. Huh? Bil api air belom bayar? ALAMAK!!! Aku raya dlm gelap!!!

yeah. yeah- tis time, i felt tat way. I've yet to settle on MANY tins.
Haven't put aside money to give my grandma, and also, green pkts for those lil rascals...
OH shucks!!! And my face- goodness me. Tiny bumps & lumps appear like nbdy's business on my face n leave unsightly burn marks. HOW??? I need money to purchase my skin care products which i've totally neglected 1 year back!!! Foolishly tinkin' tat no more pimples will haunt me. If only i've got the magic skills...
Wait, wait. My hair? soooo messy still. HOW??? HOW?? HOW?
Anybdy wanna cut for me??? But please, i want a pro. hahahahaha. ok shut up syahida.
i noe i'm very the annoying. muahahaha.

hmm. so. wat hv i been up to tis fasting month?
went out wit family, frenz & cuzzins for a mini gathering and break fast together.



to seoul garden wit my beloved ones (my family) for the 2nd day of fast...

to pizza huts, den played bowling and later sheesha-ing wit my crazy cuzins last week. (no pics, left my cam at home) Went out wit ard 11 of the cuzzies from break of fast till 'sahur' the followin' day den headed home. foooh... luckily i wasn't workin' the nxt day.

to Geylang to find raya clothes & raya stuffs wit my crazy frenz...
(Kak Su, Abg Amat, Nurul, Jan & Lyd...)

((KRAYON!!!!! wen r we goin' out huh??? Ms World also said wanna go out wit me but till now no response... hmph...))



went ard visitin' pple. my aunty who has juz given birth to a baby boy... Ridhwan



visited my aunty from KL at her hotel. Dint catch her pic but here's a pic of my cuzzin's baby boy- Mukhri, the cute one on the right.

The cherubic fair one on the left is Hoda's lil baby bro- Omar



ok, to refresh ur mind up a bit, here's hoda...



i juz lurve these munchkins!!! babies juz light up my day... =)

ouh,,, in bout 4 hours time, i've to get ready for work and i still have yet to rest my tired self.
well, a lil update bout work... am still tryin' to grab a hang of everytin'... sigh.
tryin' to cheer myself up n not tinkin' much. Whatsmore wit my personal probs... Sumtimes, i juz wish i can escape from it all. Confidin' in pple doesn't do much to oneself, i realised. what i need now is to boost my inner self-confidence & juz be my independent self. I dun need sumbdy like YOU who is sooooo not sincere in helpin' me okay... Wen u nd help, u're there but wen i nd help... u're nowhere. watever. freak. I'm not gonna let YOU play ard wit me no more. note tat?!?

lalalalalalalalalyfeiswonderful... HOPEFULLY.

alritey. til den. wo yao shleeeeeeeeep liao. toodles-oodles.

unanswered still... clueless y.

with love, syahida at 10/08/2007 12:01:00 AM

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