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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Thursday, July 22, 2010

I dyed my hair ash green!!!Just a little though at the back. But, it turns out to be more yellowish =(. I will probably bleach and redye it again some other time. My hair's getting dry too. Gonna do some hair treatment myself later.

Ugh, I am such an emotional person- missing so many people in life right now and I don't know why I'm tearing up. I kinda miss my elder sister. It was just yesterday that I had went out with her, dying our hairs together while having to babysit her daughter. It was a messy scene! I guess my sister is on the plane now, back to Aussie. I wanted so much to wake up and bid her farewell but I was tired and I know that it will make me cry. And when i woke up, there was a text from her, asking me to take care of her daughter for her. It feels painful and my heart kind of aches for her, relating to her daughter, Celmira and her being apart.

I miss us as a whole, my family being together. It will be even better if late dad and grandma is still around... Shit, it makes me feel lonely now.

Work? One word- sucks. I hate work but I have to  keep pulling through it and pray hard to God that all will go well. But it pays me well for my bonus though. I really do not know how my future is gonna be- still hazy... BUT, I'm going on leave soon!!! YAY!

What else...

I wanted to do nose piercing so much but mom was against the idea. Her excuse, "U will look like a wild red-indian person" MOM. *rolls eyes* and then she goes on saying that it will not heal well after I pierced it. Jeez. Oh well... Oh rite, I have 10 facial sessions which I paid for 500bucks and I still have yet to go!!! Worst, it was last years! Damn.

Alrights.
Adios. xoxoxo.

with love, syahida at 7/22/2010 12:47:00 PM

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