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stolen soul

My heart is jaded
Completely desolate inside
No longer feel alive

Depleted by negativity
Drained of all emotion
Impalpable to society
Always feeling like there is no place here for me

Now an isolated figure
so far away
Time has broken me
And plagued my memory

Detached from myself
Walking empty and alone
Soulless victim
Angel of misery



gugurnya tugu ilusi

Terhimpit pilu di dada,
Mengalir deras air mata,
Kala sepi terus melanda,
Sayu, pilu ku terasa...

Sewaktu dingin malam berlalu,
Bintang menjadi tempat mengadu,
Persoalan membelengu diri,
Duka menghiris hati ini.

Apakah memang ku bersalah?
Untuk memendam rasa cinta?
Adakah benar cinta yang ku alami?
Atau hanya sekadar ilusi?

Pabila ku hampir terlena,
Pelukan bayangmu yang ku rasa,
Alunan suaramu membisik sayu di telinga,
Lakaran wajahmu menghiasi mimpi indah...

Akan ku musnahkan tugu harapan,
Akan ku anggap kau sebagai teman,
Sekiranya kita berdua,
Tidak ditakdirkan bersama...



unanswered?

What has my lyfe morphed into?
I've been hurt,
Wounded ever so deeply.
But does anyone care?
You, you, or even you?
No, everybody's juz busy wit their lyfes.
Carin' for their own happiness,
Oblivious to the surrounding.
The fake, "I care for u!" phrase,
I'm tired of it all.
Just let me weep & cry in silence.
Let my heart bleed.
Coz it doesn't matter to u,
No it doesn't.
U dun even wonder y.
Do u?

Shattered,
Broken,
Hurt,
Tired,
Wounded,
Bruised,
Unanswered?

Wearin' a fake smile,
I enclosed the sadness in me..
I create lame jokes,
To liven up the joyness within me.
But does it really lasts long?
Am I that strong?
To hide how hurt I am?
Am I?

Leave me alone.
For all that matters now,
Im gonna be like u-
Ignorant to everytin'
It's no use to pretend that u care,
I'm dead.
Every hour & minute,
Is my death...



hanya untuk mu...

Tatkala bintang menemani bumi,
Memori dahulu ku kupas kembali.
Rindu pun bertandang,
Kemasyghulan menyelimuti hati...

Berbaring pada ambin kebingungan,
Aku menyelak tabir kenangan,
Mencari penamat beribu soalan...
"Mengapa? Mengapa? Aku gugup.

Seringkali bayangan mu diingati,
Kesyahduan menenggelami jiwa.
Aku dambakan belaian mu,
Tangan yang mengusap lembut dahiku...

Namun, semuanya telah ditelan waktu.
13 tahun sudah pun berlalu.
Kau telah lama pergi dan tidak mungkin kan kembali.
Aku mengerti, kau yang lebih disayangi...

Ayah, mungkinkah dikau sedang sentiasa
mendoakan puterimu ini?
Melihatku mengorak langkah ke alam dewasa...
Dari jendela istana abadimu disana?

Hanya dapat ku titip doa,
Diiringi jernih air mataku...
Semoga Tuhan menempatkanmu di tempat
orang-orang yang beriman.
Semoga jua Tuhan mencucuri rahmat keatas rohmu...
Amin.

prinsessa

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NNaive
UUnderstanding
RReliable
SShy
YYoung
AAdorable
HHypersensitive
IIrresistible
DDreamer
AArtistic

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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

All that I hope and all that I wish for, is to have a happy life- but my wish would not come true. I'm sorry to have been born in this world and I'm sorry if my existence in all of your lives causes pain and sadness. I'm worthless, hopeless and I'm a failure.

Maybe I shouldn't be at home often. Friends, they're far way better than a family. Friends understand us whilst family don't. All u can get from your family are accusations. Why? Why is it so hard for them to understand?

with love, syahida at 6/28/2011 12:30:00 AM

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Friday, June 24, 2011

I'm super duper excited!!!!! The big B..B..B.....BONUS is once again here and it's time to get what I want!!! YAY! My hard work pays off- It's time to INDULGE!
I have yet to make a list of what I wanna get... But then again, I have to save up too. That's the troublesome part.

Can't wait! -squeals-



with love, syahida at 6/24/2011 07:19:00 PM

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Thursday, June 09, 2011

It sucks when someone confides in you or tell you something but u cannot do anything about it.
I know you are reading this, if it sounds like I am nagging, means I care alot, u dum dum. lol.

with love, syahida at 6/09/2011 09:01:00 AM

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Wednesday, June 01, 2011

I was browsing and came across this beautiful poem...

Cinta...

Bagai matahari yang terbit dari fajar ke ufuk timur...
Sinar cahayanya menyinari dedaunan hijau dan bunga yang berkuncup di atas puncak gunung mimpi.
Lalu, ia akan bermekaran, menebarkan merbak aroma wangi alam segar...
Kumbang pun akan berterbangan, menikmati madu yang menggoda.
Langit biru terbentang luas, dihiasi awan putih yang lembut.
Sang burung berkicauan merdu, menggepakkan sayap putihnya.

Sungguh indah permulaanya, tetapi belum tentu penghujungya...

with love, syahida at 6/01/2011 09:42:00 PM

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Dear Heart, tell me what you're looking for?

with love, syahida at 6/01/2011 09:10:00 PM

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